Sarian Presents: EI Emotional Intelligence
by namelesslunitic
Summary: A little gift from Stewie changes things between him and Brian forever. - A Brewie collaboration between namelesslunitic and TourmalineTrue


**Author's Note: Here's an interesting little experiment that got lost in the clutter of my many documents. So, this essentially started as writing exercise between me and my partner where we were taking turns writing each individual sentence. There was no plot in mind. It was a completely blank slate, and this beast of a oneshot is what it eventually became. It was unfinished for years, but after digging it up, I decided to finally put the finishing touches on it. So, here it is in all it's massive, completed glory. It's got drama, humor, camp, romance, a little bit of everything. I think it's a pretty fun read. I hope others enjoy it, too.**

 **Warning: This story contains pedophilia and bestiality.**

 **Disclaimer: We do not own _Family Guy_ or its characters.**

 **Sarian Presents: E.I. Emotional Intelligence**

 **by:**

 **namelesslunitic and TourmalineTrue**

It appeared to be a day like any other day at the Griffin house. Lois was putting away groceries, Peter and Chris were slouched in front of the T.V., nobody knew or cared what Meg was up to, and loud buzzing noises and electronic beeping could be heard from behind the door to the baby's room.

Of course, no one in the house would notice these sounds since the only person who ever paid any attention to the strange happenings around the youngest Griffin was out in town most likely trying to score some tramp tail. This was exactly what was on the super genius infant's mind as he toiled behind his visor, muttering to himself as he used a welding torch on his newest invention.

It was all he could do not to ball his tiny palms into fists as he grumbled under his breath, mocking the dog's normal baritone, "Sorry, kid, can't hang out today, got things to do!". He would show him, though; not for the first time, Brian had been the driving force behind the creation of one of the child's machines. "Oh, but tomorrow for sure! We'll go to the park or something."

Stewie snorted loudly in annoyance, fed up with hearing that line. A bitter smile of derision was on his face as he put aside his tools and raised the visor, but when he took a look at the lousy mutt's new, souped up laptop, his smile turned to one of wicked delight. He turned to his bear.

"What do you think, Rupert?"

Rupert, apparently in kind of a bitchy mood that day, replied, "That you gifting Brian a new computer whose operating system is designed to be the woman of his dreams is a new low."

The boy simply rolled his eyes and waved his hand at the unsurprising comment. "It's all to teach Brian a much-needed lesson, and besides, that's not all this thing does."

Though Stewie didn't turn back around to see it, he could still practically feel the bear's eyebrow quirking in curiosity as he replied, "Is that so?"

As Stewie felt a blush suffusing his cheeks- knowing full well that the digital girlfriend HAD BEEN the main idea- he answered, "It's also going to keep Bry on track as a writer with its...reinforcement techniques."

He wanted to leave it at that, but the bear persisted with his questions.

"Reinforcement techniques?"

"Spare the rod, spoil the Brian," was all Stewie would say blithely, ears perking up as he thought he heard footsteps ascending the stairs. A moment later, there was a knock at the door.

"Stewie?" came the voice of the baby's canine pal from behind that panel of wood.

The child's heart leaped in his chest as he rushed to clean up his work area while responding, "Uh, yes? Bry, is that you?"

"Yeah, it's me, and I'd like to come in and chat."

The boy snatched up the laptop and hid it away, intent on hearing Brian out before presenting the gift. The dog opened the door and walked in, saying in a defeated voice, "So I just got shot down by that really cute chick who works at the ice cream parlor."

The boy froze at hearing this, _He went to pick up some skank at OUR spot!_

"I mean, can you believe that?" the dog groused, not noticing Stewie's odd attitude.

The boy took a second to compose himself before finally turning to face the animal.

"You, uh, been eyeing this girl long?"

"Ah, well, you know me, Stewie, I notice all the pretty ladies, so," the dog chuckled, "for about as long as I've been going there."

 _I never thought she was THAT pretty…_ the young boy thought as he forced out his own chuckle in response. "Ah, of course. I should have figured…"

"I had the best line- I told her I had a whole new, exclusive flavor she's never tried before."

Stewie felt his blood beginning to boil, yet he also couldn't ignore the fact that he had to fight back a blush at hearing the canine's words.

"She, uh," Brian fidgeted, appearing to look around the room for something. "She hit me, so I decided to write about my pain."

The tyke met eyes with the dog, placing his hands on his hips as he said, "Is that so?"

"Yeah, uh you...you once told me to find my voice..." sighed Brian, "and write from there, so… Look, I figured it might help my bummed out mood."

Stewie's expression softened a bit as a small smile formed on his lips, "Yeah, and did it?"

"I haven't been able to find my laptop yet to try," replied his canine pal, seeming frustrated.

The child laughed genuinely, recollection hitting him as he let go of the short wave of anger and annoyance that had washed over him, "Ah, of course. Well, I believe I saw it in here. Let me go check."

Brian smiled. "Thanks, Stewie. Being able to work on my next masterpiece should help."

The boy shook his head, still smiling but refusing to make a comment as he quickly retrieved the, now improved, laptop for the dog. Brian had a seat at the little table in the boy's room, saying, "I thought I left it right here, but Lois must have moved it while she was cleaning or something, huh?"

The child shrugged as he set the laptop down, "I don't know. I don't pay attention to her…"

Brian frowned. "Wait a minute- why does my laptop look different?"

Seeing an opportunity to tease his favorite mutt, Stewie feigned ignorance, "Hmmm? Different how?"

"Stewie!" exclaimed Brian, "Don't pretend with me, it's, like, double in thickness!"

The boy giggled, loving how easy it was to get under his friend's skin, "What? You worried you're not strong enough to lift it, boy?", the infant teased, poking the dog's bicep.

"Hardly," huffed Brian, puffing out his chest, and he reached for the laptop, picking it up a few inches off the table to prove his point. "What the hell happened to it, though?"

The boy rubbed his chin thoughtfully, debating over whether he should explain exactly what modifications had been made to the dog's laptop or simply leave and allow him to discover the new features for himself. Brian lifted the lid to the laptop and cursed before spluttering out, "What did you do?!"

Having come to a decision, Stewie chuckled one last time before responding, "That's for you to find out. Later!", his final words to the dog before rushing out the door giddily.

Brian stared in awe and in no slight amount of fear at his laptop, with the all-new screen and a keyboard that seemed to include a built-in finger scanner. He gulped as he proceeded to log in, nervous but also a little excited to see what changes his little buddy had made. He was shocked when a smoky and sexy female voice spoke to him upon him entering his login credentials, saying, "Welcome, Brian. To complete your login, please validate your identity using the finger scanner...sexy."

Brian's eyes went wide, and he gulped again, heat rising to his cheeks as he obeyed the voice and pressed his finger to the scanner, _What the hell..?_

"Identity verified," chirruped the vaguely familiar female voice, sounding delighted about that fact, before it took him to a desktop which had a wallpaper of an unknown woman's face.

After staring at the face in confusion for a few moments, the dog moved to open up his writing software, eager to get writing despite still being wary of what other surprises his laptop may have in store, _What is that kid up to?_

One other such surprise happened when his writing software opened and also began talking to him. "Ready to go, Mr. Writer?", came the female voice again.

Brian jumped in his seat and stared in stupefaction as the mystery woman explained (somewhat suggestively), "I sure hope so, because I'm here to crack the whip and keep you on track, be the process ever so long and hard."

Now, Brian knew he was blushing as he reached up to scratch behind his neck, "What the hell did he do, turn my laptop into some kind of sex toy?"

"I can't help but notice you haven't typed anything yet," stated the voice in his computer sternly, before adding, "You are now locked out of any internet sites not pre-determined to be useful for research purposes."

The dog quirked his eyebrow at this, "Uh, excuse me, now?"

"This lock will be in place for the next twenty-four hours," said the voice, seeming to gloat, "or until after you've typed your first 500 words, whichever comes first."

The canine scoffed at this, "So what? Stewie set this up to police me? To keep me from getting distracted? Is that what this is?"

"There is no Stewie, only Estelle, who is here to help," reassured the female voice.

The dog eyed his screen suspiciously before responding, "Estelle, huh? You're designed to help me?"

"That's right," confirmed Estelle happily. "Who's a good boy? Yes: positive actions have positive consequences and negative actions have negative consequences. All to help handsome, brilliant Brian Griffin."

The canine couldn't help but tug at his collar a bit as his tail began wagging, obviously enjoying his new "companion's" remarks despite knowing who had programmed it.

"Shall we begin?" asked Estelle.

The canine smirked and cracked his fingers, ready to type away, "Alright, then, Estelle. If it's 500 words you want, it's 500 words you get."

* * *

Downstairs, Stewie was playing with his blocks in the living room, and before he knew it, almost an hour had gone by, and Lois was talking about dinner. He stood up and stretched, eager to go check on Brian's progress. However, at that moment, he saw Brian heading down the stairs, wearing a peculiar expression that was a mixture of self-satisfaction and gobsmacked.

The boy grinned at this, unable to hide his satisfaction as he addressed the canine, "My, my, my. What's that expression all about, Bry?"

Giving him a sharp look, Brian replied, "I honestly don't know where to begin with you, kid, but how about with how in the hell you designed a computer to grow arms and massage me after I type 500 damn words?" He finished with a laugh.

Stewie just shrugged at this, "You only made it through 500 words?"

Brian narrowed his eyes at the boy, coming down the stairs the rest of the way before answering with, "I'm just pacing myself, but jeez, way to take the wind out of my sails."

The child laughed and waved his hand at the dog, "Oh, don't take it so personally, Brian. You should take it as a compliment that I expect more from you. But, no, seriously, you liked my modifications?"

"I like that you're trying to help me, but we'll see how I like them in the long run," said Brian with a smile and a fond shake of his head.

With that, Brian turned to head for the kitchen leaving Stewie smirking with only one thought, _Oh, yeah, we'll see how much you like them in the long run._

* * *

Late that evening, Brian sought some privacy in the basement with his new and "improved" laptop. After making sure everyone had gone to bed, the canine cracked his fingers and prepared to get back to "work".

After logging in, Estelle this time greeted him as, "hot stuff" and reminded him that the lock was no longer in place.

"Don't worry, Estelle, I won't be needing the lock this time. I'm about to pound out this story hard."

"Ooo, look at you!" Estelle cooed as much as a robot voice could coo. "You're getting me all excited. Get those fingers movin' on the keyboard and toucha touch me."

The dog chuckled deeply, quickly obeying and setting to work typing away.

He was startled when Estelle interrupted his writing process by saying, "So, Brian...I see that you're writing a relationship story this time."

The dog froze briefly before continuing on, "Uh, yeah," he chuckled nervously, "You, uh... You, uh, can read what I type?"

"Every single, solitary word, Brian," Estelle returned conversationally.

He stopped again to reach back and scratch behind his neck as he replied with a laugh, "Uh, alright, then."

"It's so I can help you, Brian; that's why I not only have a word processor with extra productivity features, but also give feedback," said Estelle.

The canine muttered underneath his breath, "Right... Because this is all designed to help me. Stewie did this to help me."

"Estelle wonders what sort of a vibe Mr. Writer is aiming for with this book," mused his computer.

The dog tilted his head at this, "Huh? What do you mean?"

"Well, who are you writing this for? Is it a satire?" Estelle queried, sounding like she'd tilt her head to the side, too, if she could. "This girl rejects the main character, and he's now trying so hard to prove she was wrong, but why?"

The animal scoffed at this, "N-no, of course it's not satire. It's just a simple romance. The main character is trying to show she was wrong because she was, and he deserves a second chance."

"If it's not a comedy, it could work as a drama if he's deranged," suggested Estelle. "In my informed opinion, only a deranged person could drive that kind of plot and make it compelling. Otherwise, it is not a plot, only a petty obsession."

Brian frowned at this and folded his arms, "Is that so?"

"Petty obsession," confirmed Estelle. "The romance you describe is no romance. It is not compelling. Why is she so special that she wreaks such havoc with his self-esteem?"

The dog turned his head to look away from the computer as he contemplated this question, "I-I don't know. I never really thought about it. He just… He just likes her." he sighed, "Alright, fine, Estelle. What would YOU consider a compelling romance?"

"Hmmm..." sighed Estelle thoughtfully, the sound like an electrical buzzing. "Well, Mr. Writer must write about a love that is convincing. Have you ever been in love, Brian?"

This took the canine by surprise, made apparent by the small gasp he emitted, "Well, I mean, yeah. I've been in love. Not that it's ever mattered…"

Estelle's voice was surprisingly gentle when she replied with, "It always matters, Brian. Especially when love is true."

The dog shook his head, growing defensive, "Well, my love WAS true, and like I said, it ended up not mattering, at all. And, besides, you're just a computer. What would you know about love?"

"With access to all the great literature, songs, and other assorted media in existence, to all the research and all the opinions and stories of those near and far, I am familiar enough with the concept."

Brian rubbed his temple, "Ok, yeah, you're able to understand the concept, but there's a difference between understanding an emotion like love and feeling it."

"Why on earth should I need to feel it?" responded the machine. "I'm here to help you write a good book, as well as provide you with sound advice to aid in the improvement of your life."

The dog sighed again, "I-I don't know why you'd need to feel, alright? It's just a touchy subject. I don't talk about this kind of thing with very many people…"

"Estelle does not mean to offend," said Estelle. "Estelle is sorry if Brian feels alone and unheard."

Brian placed his paws back on the keyboard, "It's fine. It's not your fault. I came down here to write, so that's what I'm going to do. Give me some feedback."

Estelle obeyed, saying, "There's some good stuff in here, some quality writing, Brian, if you cut out the fake ass love story and the parts where you seem to be desperately imitating already established writers."

Resigning to see where this went, Brian responded calmly, "Alright, and what parts are those, exactly?"

As the dog watched, numerous sections of text on his screen then became instantly highlighted as the computer's voice said, "There, does that help you out some?"

The canine tapped his fingers on the keys lightly as he scanned the highlighted sections, "Uh, I guess. So what? I just revise all of that?"

"Precisely," agreed Estelle. "I'm setting no time limits yet for this revision, since technically your original 24 hours for the 500 words aren't up, but be prompt about it, and I'll make it worth your while."

And there it was again, that suggestive, smokey tone that Brian had quickly learned he REALLY liked, "Worth my while, huh?"

"Oh, yes," Estelle replied seductively. "I am equipped with quite a few components that can reward you most...pleasurably."

The canine couldn't help but shiver at the computer's words as he gulped nervously but oh so excited, "Well, I guess I'll have to be quick with those revisions, then."

"That would be advisable," said the digital voice, now all cold and clinical, but Brian had the odd imagining that if she could have winked, she would have.

He chuckled at this before proceeding forward with his revisions, Estelle guiding him along the way.

* * *

It was near to midnight when Stewie awoke to the sound of someone beating on his door. The tired toddler slowly opened his eyes and groggily climbed out of his crib before slowly shuffling across the floor to open the door.

He found Brian on the other side, and Stewie, even in his sleepy state, could tell by the canine's expression that whatever had happened, the altered and enhanced laptop had to be behind it. Even still, that didn't excuse the animal for interrupting his peaceful slumber, "Huh? Brian? What are you doing? It's freakin' midnight…"

"What am I doing?" asked the dog in a heated whisper, his expression deeply disturbed. "What are YOU doing, Stewie? Why do you think you can just build a computer for me that offers to-" He broke off, shuffling his feet uncertainly.

The child rubbed his eyes, his need for sleep fading as he offered up a smirk to his favorite doggy, "Did you get a lot done tonight, Brian?"

If he wasn't mistaken, a blush filled Brian's cheeks as the canine stammered, "Wha- did I- Don't...change the subject! How do you figure that was appropriate!?"

The infant just shrugged, "It motivated you didn't it?"

Brian glared at the small child before pushing past him and into Stewie's bedroom. "I didn't know that's what she was going to offer me! God, how do you even know what that is?"

Stewie calmly shut the door before turning to face his canine companion, "You didn't know? Really? I have to figure it was pretty obvious what your reward would be, Brian, and you didn't answer the question. It motivated you, right? You got a lot done?"

Brian stared him down, hands on hips, and spoke slowly, with controlled anger, "Yes, Stewie, I got a lot done."

The child smiled, clapping his hands together a single time as he responded gleefully, "See?! That was the point! Mission accomplished! Way to go, buddy! I'm proud of ya!"

Brian turned his back on the boy and shot back, "Well, don't be too proud, because I'm never using that thing ever again."

At this, Stewie glared at the dog, "Oh, really? And why is that? What's wrong with using something that's obviously beneficial to you?"

"What's wrong is that it's manipulating me- you're manipulating me!- and using sexual favors to bribe me into working hard! I'm- " Brian turned back around, and his ears seemed to droop. "I'm uncomfortable with you having designed this."

"Oh, ok, so there's the REAL issue here. I designed it. Yeah. So, what? Why should that bother you?"

The dog fidgeted. "It's inappropriate...and you're just doing it to humiliate me."

The child's tone softened a bit, "B-Brian, I'm in no way trying to humiliate you. I'm only trying to help you. I care about you…"

"I know you care, Stewie," Brian sighed resignedly. "I know you do, but was this really the best way to show it?" The dog turned and left the room.

 _Oh, no you don't!_ thought the boy as he rushed after the dog, grabbing him by the paw.

Sighing deeply, Brian pulled his paw free and told Stewie, "Kid, I'm really tired, won't you just let me go to bed?"

The boy shook his head vigorously, "So what? So you can wake up tomorrow and pretend this never happened? So you can go back to being blissfully ignorant? Hmmm? Is that what you want?"

Brian looked confused. "I...don't know when I've ever been blissful, Stewie, but what was I supposed to learn from this? All the things Estelle taught me, or just how far you're willing to go to mess with me? Why shouldn't I forget that you think I'm so pathetic I can have all my needs met by a machine?"

Stewie looked down and shuffled his feet, the sudden drive and determination he had felt to keep Brian there with him suddenly beginning to fade. "Ok, well maybe blissful wasn't the right word. It's just a common expression," mumbled the boy before looking up with a steely gaze.

"But, you have most certainly been ignorant, Brian. Why are you just assuming I was just trying to mess with you? I was simply trying to keep you on track. I know you. I know what distracts you and sends you into a rut, and Estelle was meant to fix that in some capacity. I don't think you're pathetic...but you do have your issues… Ones I know you can work through, though! ...And, well, Estelle wasn't meant to fulfill your needs forever…"

"Does Estelle also give dating advice?" asked Brian, with a little laugh that didn't reveal whether or not he was serious. "Because maybe I should give her another shot, if that's the case. If she doesn't just want me for herself, that is."

The boy took a deep breath before responding, "I...I didn't intend for her to do that, but I see no reason why she wouldn't..."

Brian sighed and shrugged. "It's still so weird to me that you did this..."

"There's no reason for it to be weird, Brian."

"You would say that," countered Brian, studying the boy closely. "It's just, when she offered to... Well, it was almost like..." But he trailed off in embarrassment and did not pick up the thread again.

However, Stewie refused to let the matter drop, his curiosity was piqued, "Almost like what, Bry?"

Brian continued to look reluctant, even going so far as to back up from Stewie a bit, when all of a sudden, a look of annoyance flashed across his features, and he snapped, "Will you quit acting like you don't know, it's almost like having you offer to do it! That's what made it so weird and disgusting!"

The child simply rolled his eyes at this, "So that's when it got weird? If you feel that way, then everything else Estelle did must have felt like me doing it, too, and you had no problem with that! I programmed her, Brian. I know how she is supposed to act around you. Why wasn't it an issue until now? Hmmm?"

"I'm certainly used to you being a wise ass," Brian joked weakly, seemingly a little flustered by the conviction in the child's manner. "I'm used to you giving me advice...about everything. You often have something to say about my relationships. And you could tell me a thing or two about writing, couldn't you, Mr. Writes a Broadway Ready Play In a Night? But Estelle has access to all the information on the internet, doesn't she? It felt different coming from her. Couldn't you just...remove the other stuff? The...the come-ons?"

Stewie sighed, "If that's what you really want, that's what I'll do, but Brian I still don't understand why you were fine with everything else and then decided to link your reaction to me when Estelle began offering sexual favors." The baby thought Brian looked like such a cute, confused doggy, the way he cocked his head to the side as he peered at his companion almost helplessly.

"You really are something else," Brian stated. "We'll talk more tomorrow, Stewie."

As the canine went to turn away once more, Stewie grabbed his paw one more time, speaking seriously, "Ok. We'll talk tomorrow. You won't ignore this. You will talk to me…"

Brian looked reluctant, saying, "I don't see what I have left to explain to you, but fine, we'll talk."

And with that, he left Stewie standing in the hall. For a while, the child couldn't move, stuck there, still trying to process what had happened, something he had not expected in the least but that he intended to take full advantage of. He went back to his room to fill Rupert in on everything. Tomorrow, Brian was going to see the light.

* * *

Brian was up with the following day's first light, after not having slept very well, and for reasons unknown to him, was instinctively drawn to taking out the laptop again. He sat up and stretched, bringing life back into his limbs before heading down into the basement where he had left the laptop last night after bolting out of the room. He saw it sitting there and it was almost like it was looking back at him; like he wasn't looking at his laptop but at Estelle...or maybe Stewie. He shivered a bit before taking his seat, not sure what he was hoping to accomplish but unable to ignore this drive inside him.

"Welcome back, Brian," Estelle greeted him, with no pet names and no flirting of any kind after he logged in.

The dog didn't reply, simply unsure of what to say. He didn't open up his writing program, only his browser, to read his email and his news for the day. The atmosphere was surprisingly tense, prompting Brian to start humming to him himself nervously, "What am I doing?"

"It beats the hell out of me, you've opened two tabs and now appear to be quite idle," said Estelle, narrating the situation simplistically.

The canine reached up to scratch behind his neck, chuckling nervously, "Uh, hi, Estelle."

"Hello, Brian," said Estelle, evidently bemused, but was there a knowing note in that computer voice? "What can I help you with today?"

Brian couldn't help but mumble under his breath, "I wish I knew..."

"Well, yes," said Estelle, sounding, besides like a woman, more like Stewie than she ever had. "I suppose the list of things you need help with is so lengthy that it can be difficult to know where to start."

The dog just shook his head at this and laughed, "You sound just like him..."

"Like who, may I ask?" Estelle inquired, still sounding faintly amused, but that must be Brian's imagination.

Brian reached up and began massaging his temples as he looked up at the screen and spoke matter-of-factly, "Stewie."

"Oh. Him," responded Estelle, a bit too blandly.

The dog raised his eyebrow at the computer's tone, "Yes, Estelle, him, the person who made you. You sound like Stewie, and it's freaking me the hell out."

The computer seemed to hesitate. "It's...only natural, I suppose," came Estelle's eventual reply, "that I should be made in his image, somewhat. Human beings are supposedly made in the image of God. In this case, Stewie is God." The voice seemed to smirk.

The dog just groaned, "And how am I supposed to reconcile you sounding like Stewie with the things you offer me?"

"I am sorry if I overstepped a boundary last night, Brian," said Estelle. "I didn't think anything of it. I was merely offering you the reward of using a tool to gain pleasure. That's all I am. I am not Stewie."

Brian sighed, "Well, no, technically you're not, but Stewie still programmed you to say the things you say, to do the things you do. How is that not supposed to bug me? I mean, it's not your fault, but surely you can see why I would be bothered by this!"

"Perhaps you're just a little too fixated on me?" suggested Estelle. "If you had something else to focus on, my behavior might not bother you so much. Or, should I say...someone? Catch my drift?" A new tab opened on its own. "Let's find you a nice girl...Or guy. Whatever you're into."

Brian stared at the screen, puzzled, "How exactly is that going to help? I mean, sure a cute girl might be able to distract me, but that doesn't change the fact that Stewie... And that I have to live with him... Jesus Christ..."

"One thing at a time, Brian," Estelle soothed. "Have you done online dating before? First thing's first: a profile."

Realizing he wasn't going to get anywhere with Estelle, at the moment, Brian let out a quiet groan before deciding to just go with it, "No. I haven't. It's...never really appealed to me."

"I am surprised to hear that," stated Estelle, and from the tone of her voice, Brian believed her. "It is a popular option many turn to, and does not seem incompatible with your personality, nor your desperation- I mean...determination...to find a partner. So...describe your perfect date?"

Brian scoffed at the mention of the word desperation, but decided to ignore it as he answered the question, "Well...it would be with a nice girl, good looking, nice curves, decent sized breasts, an ass that's not really big but…" he paused, a blush infusing his cheeks, "...something grabbable, preferably a blonde or brunette but that doesn't matter too much. I'd pick her up sometime in the late afternoon. We'd go out for coffee or something, somewhere nice to just talk for a little while, really hit it off. Then, we'd go see a nice play before leaving to go get dinner at some place cozy and romantic, something fancy with some gourmet cuisine, and we'd share a really tasty dessert. Then, I'd take her home, she'd invite me in, and well…" he shrugged, " I think you can figure out the rest."

Estelle made that contemplative, mechanical-sounding humming noise again. "Wow, right off the bat, describing the bombshell you assume you deserve," she said dryly. The form started to be filled out before Brian's eyes without him doing anything. Under perfect date, it now said: "Fond of the standards. Coffee and chitchat to start. Theatre lovers welcome; would love to take that special someone to a play, followed by a cozy and romantic dinner at a nice restaurant. After that...we'll see where the night takes us!"

Brian took a second to scan the information before continuing, "Ok. What now?"

"Describe the characteristics of the person you'd like to meet," said Estelle, adding, "I wouldn't lead with the physical characteristics. It could make you seem like a douche. So think very hard- what is your soulmate like, in their head and in their heart?"

Brian just shrugged, "I don't know. She's smart and funny. She's able to appreciate me for me. I don't have to pretend around her, someone I can just talk to forever and never get bored. Someone who appreciates a good book so we can read at night and stay up talking about it. Someone that might even be able to help me grow as a writer, who doesn't just write off my passion and the hard work I put into it. Someone that makes me genuinely happy... I don't how else to describe her."

"Smart with a good sense of humor. Someone authentic who lets me be my authentic self. Someone with whom I just click. Someone mentally stimulating. Especially seeking a good reader for a private book club for two. Someone supportive, who appreciates my passions, and who I can grow together with" read the description of his perfect partner, as Estelle filled in the blanks. Her computerized voice was pensive and sympathetic as she told Brian, "Is that what you had, when you were in love before? How heartbroken you must have been to lose her."

Brian just shook his head at this, "I've...I've never had that..."

"Oh," said Estelle. "And yet you've been in love... Well, maybe that's why you can't write about it. Can I give you a tip, Brian?"

The dog looked at the computer curiously, "Uh, sure. What?"

"Love is friendship set on fire," opined Estelle. "Or so I've read. Think about the most meaningful relationship in your life. Then, with that feeling in mind, add an additional layer. The romantic layer, if you will. And use such a concept as that to write your next love story."

The dog tilted his head at this, "The most meaningful relationship in my life?"

"Precisely," said Estelle. "After all, a good romance is highly meaningful, too."

Just after she said this, Brian heard Lois calling from upstairs, "Brian, if you're down there, coffee's on and I'm getting breakfast ready."

At hearing this, Brian decided to put a pin in the matter, "Sorry, Estelle. I know you're trying to help, but I have to go. I'll talk to you later, and we can pick this up."

"It's up to you, Mr. Writer," replied Estelle. "If you wish, later we can also talk about a rewards system that works for you."

Brian didn't reply, he was already gone and heading up the stairs towards the kitchen for breakfast.

In the kitchen, the scent of coffee wafted through the room, and Lois stood over the stove frying bacon. "Hey, Brian," she said. "I'm going to need you to watch Stewie today, and possibly all night, as well."

The dog stiffened up at hearing this, "Oh… Yeah? You all have plans?"

Lois sighed. "Unfortunately, Peter has an overnight work trip he completely forgot to tell me about until last night, but they're allowed to bring spouses, so off we go. It's some kind of convention at a hotel in Providence. We need to go out shopping this morning and pick up some stuff for the trip, and then we should be on the road by noon. We won't be back until tomorrow evening. Chris and Meg have school today, of course, and then later on, they'll both be going to a dance, and you should make sure they make it back by curfew, but other than that, they should stay out of your hair so it doesn't feel like you're babysitting three."

The canine took all of this in, somehow maintaining his carefree demeanor despite the rapid beating of his heart, "Oh, well, that's a relief…"

"Yeah, you're telling me..." Lois muttered, then explained with a laugh, "Thanks for taking it so well. I wish Peter had given me a little advance warning, but we really need this trip, Brian. Even if it's just a dumb work trip. If you'd ever been in a relationship for long enough, than you would know how important it is to break up the monotony with a couple's trip every now and then."

"Oh, no I get it. I hope you two have a great time. And, don't worry about me. You know I love…" he smiled and cleared his throat, "hanging out with Stewie."

Lois smiled her approval. "And I know he loves you right back."

Brian felt his heart skip a beat and his tail started to wag, but he chose to ignore this as he took a seat at the table.

Soon, other members of the family started coming into the kitchen, and Lois left to go get Stewie up.

Brian turned to Peter, looking to take his mind off the whirlwind of emotions and thoughts he was experiencing, "So...Peter, how are you doing this morning?"

"Constipated," said Peter bluntly, and that was all, not looking up from his paper.

The dog's eyes widened ever so slightly at the response, but he chose to simply leave the matter at that since talking to Peter never really made for the most stimulating conversation, anyway.

Meg seemed to notice Brian wanting to chat and started to jabber excitedly, "Do you wanna hear about the dress I got for the dance tonight, Brian? I went shopping with Ruth yesterday...well, first we went and stalked Connie around the mall for a while while she picked hers out, because Connie said if my dress had anything in common with hers, she'd make me sorry I was ever born. Now, she's already made me sorry I was ever born about a million times, but obviously I don't want her amping the torture up. So I found the prettiest dress with sparkles on it hanging in the window of this one store..." And she proceeded to go on and on.

Brian simply held his hand up, not in the mood to deal with one of Meg's stories, "Oh, ok. That's great Meg."

"I'm going to the dance with the hot new girl!" Chris cut in. "She's a Mormon with a lazy eye. That means her standards are doubly lowered! And if we get married, I can convert to Mormonism and get ten more wives!"

Brian spared the teen a passing glance as he nodded his head, "Yes, Chris. Yes, you could."

Chris folded his arms and nodded his head, looking proud to have this validation.

Then, Lois reappeared carrying Stewie.

The dog began tapping his fingers on the table nervously as she set the boy in the high chair next to his seat.

Stewie looked over and, smiling, said, "Good morning, Brian. Have you heard the good news? We're getting rid of the rest of these fools until tomorrow evening!"

The canine cleared his throat, never making eye contact as he spoke, "I had heard something like that, yes…"

The child simply continued smiling, and said no more for the moment, turning to his sippy cup of orange juice.

Brian breathed a sigh of relief, counting it a blessing that Stewie had left it at that and not pressed him for further conversation, leaving him to try and enjoy his breakfast as Lois set his plate in front of him.

Chris and Meg left soon after breakfast, and then Brian and Stewie found themselves in the living room, seeing Peter and Lois off. The two adults got in the car and drove off as Brian shut the door and shuffled over to take a seat on the couch.

"Are we watching T.V.?" asked Stewie, running over and hopping up next to him. "You...didn't forget that we need to talk, did you?"

Brian reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose as he groaned, "No, I didn't, Stewie, but what is even worth talking about, at this point?"

"How about why you reacted so strongly to me merely giving you a gift?" Stewie leaned back against the sofa and crossed his arms stubbornly. "I'm not going to keep pestering you about it, Bry, but something's being left unsaid, here."

The dog turned to him and looked him dead in the eye, "You don't just casually give someone that kind of gift, Stewie…"

The baby's gaze locked onto his and did not waver. "You're right. That's why I didn't give it casually. It was quite deliberate and thought out."

Brian couldn't help but grit his teeth as he barked out, "You know what I fucking mean!"

Stewie gave a little jump, wincing as he replied, "Jeez, bite my head off! I can definitely tell you aren't ready to discuss this." He sniffed indignantly and jumped down off the sofa

The dog reached up and grabbed either side of his head as he growled in frustration, "What do you fucking want from me, Stewie!? You were so dead set on talking about...whatever, and now, you're walking away? What are you even trying to accomplish? Why can't you just understand why last night freaked me out? Why's that so difficult to grasp?"

Stewie whirled around in a fury, retorting, "I'm trying to figure out why I give you a present intended to motivate you, to improve the life you're always bitching and moaning about, and you beat down my door in the middle of the night and tell me I'm wrong! I'm trying to figure out why you're being weird toward me, when I'm the only one who's ever cared about your successes and failures! Me! I'm the one who always listens! I'm the one who wants to see you achieve your dreams! I've always been there for you, and Estelle is no exception! Sure, there was a sexual component to the reward system, but I just figured you'd think of it as a goddamn sex toy! What would you think if Peter went to the dirty store and brought you back a sex doll? You'd just laugh it off, right? Well, I got you the best damn sex doll in existence, although of course she's much, much more than that. Aren't I your buddy, too? Why can't you just accept my gift?!"

Brian opened his mouth as if to say something but nothing came out, unable to come up with any kind of retort.

Stewie let out an audible, exasperated breath. "So, yeah, I want answers, because there's something you're not telling me, but I'll wait until you work out what you want to say." He then hurried up the stairs to his room.

Once the child was out of sight, Brian slunk back into the couch, inexplicably exhausted. He knew just how Stewie could be when he was after something, and what he was after now was apparently this discussion with Brian.

The dog groaned aloud- just what hell were the next 24 hours plus destined to hold for him? He considered grabbing the remote and just zoning out in front of the TV for a few hours but, eventually, decided against it as he hopped off of the couch and made his way back to Estelle.

"Back again already, Brian?" Estelle chimed cheerfully when he logged back in. "What can I help you with now? Would you like to continue setting up your dating profile?"

The canine sighed, "I'm not in the mood to worry about that..."

The image of Estelle on the computer desktop suddenly frowned, freaking Brian out.

"What's wrong?" she asked worriedly.

Brian just shook his head, "Stewie..."

"Is he okay? Have you two had a disagreement?"

The dog took a second to massage his temples and take a breath before replying.

"We...had a fight, over what I'm still not sure, but now, I'm also not so sure I know who's in the wrong, either. He brought up some pretty good points, and I'm still trying to process them."

"Stewie is right," said Estelle. "Stewie is always right."

Brian rolled his eyes, "I thought you were supposed to be on my side."

"Where did you get that idea? I said I was here to help you," replied his computer. "If I were to agree with you all the time, that would be the opposite of helpful."

"I get that," Brian said, "But, you're just assuming he's right. You don't even know what he said."

"I know he programmed me," said Estelle, as though that settled it.

Brian's expression went blank, "So, it doesn't matter what he said. To you, he's automatically right."

"What did he say?"

The dog shrugged at this, "Is it going to even matter?"

"Of course," replied Estelle. "I am informed by many other sources of data accessed and analyzed from the world wide web. These can help me some to a conclusion about your problem, even if, at a more basic level, in a way, I am Stewie."

Brian remained quiet a moment longer, contemplating what was just said before finally relenting. "He's upset that I'm upset that you...did the thing you did last night. He says you were meant to improve my life and that I should just appreciate his gift. He doesn't understand why I'm acting weird just because there's a...sexual component, that it would be no different if Peter were to buy me a sex doll or something, so I shouldn't be weirded out by you making offers like that as part of the rewards system. He says he doesn't understand why I'm saying it's wrong to give me such a gift when he's always been there for me, always listened to me and cared about my successes and failures, and he's right about that. He's the one I can always turn to, maybe I shouldn't have assumed the worst. Maybe I should just accept his gift...no matter how weird it may seem, right now…"

"All excellent points," Estelle expressed. "But although I do not have feelings, that does not mean I automatically invalidate yours. What is 'the worst', Brian? You said you assumed the worst."

This question caught the canine off guard, prompting him to scratch behind his neck as he responded, "Uh, I don't know, that he was doing it to make fun of me, I guess."

Estelle seemed to digest this. "I see. And do you often make fun of each other? If he was making fun of you in this instance, it would be over the line, even though he also did a good deed by giving you me?"

The dog shrugged again violently, "I don't know! Ok? Yes, we tease each other all the time, so if that's what he was doing, I guess it wouldn't be that weird, but...it is, ok? It just is. It's weird that Stewie gave me gift that, while extremely helpful so far, offered to jerk me off!"

Brian jumped back and nearly had a heart attack when a mechanical hand attached to a rod suddenly extended from the front bottom portion of his laptop.

"You keep mentioning last night," said Estelle. "Is it because my offer wasn't sufficient?" With similar robotic sounds of mechanical parts moving, another gadget popped its way out of the computer, a sleeve-like device that looked all too familiar to a sex shop toy. "I also have this, though I was saving it for when you cracked your first 20,000 words."

The poor mutt felt his cheeks flush as he struggled to form words at the sudden action.

"Wh-what the...what the hell, Estelle?! It has nothing to do with the offer not being sufficient, it's that you made the offer at all! And, the fact that you keep saying that you're basically Stewie doesn't fucking help! It's like Stewie's offering to have sex with me!"

The two devices protruding from the machine folded up and retreated back inside it. "And you don't want to have sex with him?"

The dog's jaw dropped as he continued to stumble all over his words, "Of...O-Of cour-course not! That woul-would be… Why would I want that?!"

"Do not ask me to account for the tastes and urges of living creatures," replied Estelle calmly. "I am merely accumulating all the facts, here. It does not seem entirely out of the question, however."

Brian's eyes went wide, "How can you say that?!"

"People want all kinds of things, even if they shouldn't," Estelle replied, still unruffled. "I have yet to be convinced that you shouldn't, so the answer must simply be that there is no attraction on your side."

The dog just shook his head vigorously, "What do you mean you've yet to be convinced that I shouldn't?! How can you say THAT?!"

"I can say it both because I have the technical ability, and because it's true. Kindly supply me with the data I am missing."

"He's ONE!" the dog shouted, growing hysterical.

"I do not deny that that presents a legal issue," responded his laptop. "Is that your meaning?"

Brian's breathing became erratic as he said, "It's a legal and MORAL issue!"

"Brian?" Stewie's voice called from upstairs. "Who are you yelling at?"

The dog slapped his forehead as he responded, "Uh, no one. I'm just...really into this book."

"It is my understanding," said Estelle, "that you are a dog. What sort of moral quandaries do you think your romantic entanglements present? It is also my understanding that the age of consent is meant to protect children; the laws are made with barriers to consent in mind. The barriers to consent are intelligence, the ability to express consent, and emotional maturity. Do you believe Stewie to be severely less intelligent than an average adult, incapable of expressing consent, or likely to be emotionally damaged by sexual activities?"

The dog simply mumbled his reply, "I'd probably be the one emotionally damaged…"

"Brian, I know you're busy being a total toolkit, but I was going to make lunch, do you want any?" Stewie called down from the kitchen.

Brian chose to ignore the degrading remark, not looking to fight with Stewie, right now, "Uh, yeah, sure."

"Then can you get your ass up here? Quick like a bunny- hop, hop!"

The dog groaned, "Give me a minute, kid!"

"Well, fine, then!" Stewie shouted back. "You don't get a vote in what we have! I hope you're enjoying your nudey mag, or whatever you're reading since you can't use your new and improved laptop!"

Brian chose to not reply this time as he instead addressed Estelle, "You're REALLY not helping me."

"I'm not?" wondered Estelle, sounding confused and displeased. "How can I behave contrary to my intended purpose?"

Brian grabbed his screen and shook it, "You're telling me that it would be fine to fuck Stewie!".

The mechanical arm emerged from the laptop again, its hand slapping Brian across the face.

"I am sorry, Brian," said Estelle. "I was programmed with self preservation characteristics."

Brian reached up to rub his cheek, wincing. "Whatever…"

"Are you upset because I said there would be nothing wrong with desiring Stewie?" questioned the computer. "That should make but a modicum of difference. Please be advised that I did not tell you to engage in intimate relations with him. ...Are you interested in having intimate relations with him?"

Brian just sat there, contemplating whether to respond to his insane computer.

"According to gossip and news site databases I have access to, no comment almost always means yes," stated that mad machine.

Suddenly, Stewie called out again, "Brian, lunch is ready!"

"You don't know as much as you think you do," Brian muttered, emotions in turmoil as he reached out to close the lid of the laptop. "You DEFINITELY don't know what the hell you're talking about in this case." And with that, Brian hopped up from his seat, not exactly eager to see Stewie at the moment, but unable to deny the rumble in his belly.

When he got to the kitchen, he found the places already set, with the meal all cooked and waiting in the center of the table.

"It's pasta primavera with a salad on the side, nothing too impressive, it's what they taught me how to make at that cooking class at the rec center you didn't want to take with me," said Stewie casually.

The dog eyed the meal hungrily, momentarily forgetting his emotional crisis, "Wow! That actually looks really good!"

Stewie's mouth formed a small smile of genuine pleasure. "Like I said, nothing to it. But thank you. Well, dig in!"

Brian wasted no time getting his plate and stuffing his face, so consumed with sating his hunger that he barely noticed the child taking a seat uncharacteristically across from him.

Stewie went about eating his own meal, lifting a dainty forkful to his mouth and saying, "Well, you must think it tastes as good as it looks. Wouldn't it be nice if I could cook for you more often instead of Lois? I bet you didn't know what I can do in the kitchen, huh?"

At this, Brian chanced a nervous gaze up, meeting Stewie's eyes with his own as he gulped nervously. "It's...good, Stewie. You did a good job."

Stewie batted his hand. "Awww, stop, you flatterer, you. What are you trying to do, get my pants off?"

The dog looked down, speaking softly, "Please...please don't talk like that…"

Stewie's heart sank a little, and his mouth felt slightly dry. This was quite different from Brian's usual demeanor, and he didn't know whether this was a good sign or a bad one, that the canine finally seemed to be taking him seriously. It had Stewie worried, and he was sorry to see Brian so distraught. Still, the child injected a cold note into his voice as he said,

"Ah. Still can't take a joke, I see."

Brian chuckled darkly, "I wish I could believe it was a joke."

Stewie felt a rush of intense heat flood his cheeks as his heart skipped a beat.

Brian looked up to meet his eyes again. "It was seriously a joke?"

Stewie couldn't respond at first, torn as to how to proceed. This required strategy, after all; and besides that, he was scared. "I think what matters most right now is what you believe," he said after a beat, looking away and popping a bite of salad into his mouth.

Brian kept his eyes on Stewie as he replied, "I honestly don't know what I believe anymore, Stewie. This past twenty-four hours has been very hard for me…"

"Because I made you a laptop that got a little friendly with you?" asked Stewie, playing it off. "It's just another one of my crazy inventions, Brian."

"Is it?" Brian asked without hesitation.

It was on the tip of the tyke's tongue to laugh and say, 'Of course it is, you moron!', just like he might have done any other time, but Stewie was feeling pushed just about beyond endurance and decided to make a gutsier move. If Brian was having difficulty deciding what was a joke and what wasn't, Stewie was really going to fuck with his head.

He looked straight-on at the canine and said, "I want you."

It took everything within Brian not to flinch away, but he stayed there, staring for a few moments longer before turning back to his plate and continuing his meal without a word.

It was enough to make Stewie crack.

He slammed his little fists down on the table. "I want you!" he repeated dramatically, mockingly. "I love you! Oh, you're the love of my life! I NEED you! Take me, right here, right now!" He hurled himself onto the table, knocking over the serving dishes.

This time Brian did flinch as he pushed himself away from the table and stood up from his seat.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?! What makes you think I want you?!"

Stewie came back to himself somewhat, realizing he was rolling around in lettuce leaves and pasta. Brian's words stung.

"I never said I did," he said flatly, and climbed down from the table without making eye contact. He walked away, holding back tears.

At seeing how devastated his friend looked, Brian's heart shattered.

"No, wait, Stewie!"

Stewie stopped; his shoulders drooping. He bit his lip so not to cry. He waited at the bottom of the stairs to see if Brian would come after him.

Brian quickly grabbed a dishrag and ran some water on it before running to catch up with Stewie, proceeding to clean up the food that was on the boy's body.

"Oh, did the messy widdle baby get food all over himself?" Stewie asked sarcastically, his voice breaking as a tear trickled down his cheek, undone from Brian's touch on his body.

Brian felt like tearing up himself at the sight as he instinctively wiped away the tear with his finger. "Stewie…"

"You're making..." the child sniffled, "you're making our...our friendship...weird, Brian..."

The dog looked at Stewie seriously, "What do you mean?"

The boy held onto Brian's hands and wept. "You couldn't just take the gift and use it like you were supposed to! It had to make you all serious and suspicious, and now you act like you don't even wanna be in the same room as me!"

"Stewie…" Brian paused briefly before pulling the baby into a warm embrace and speaking into his ear, "I don't want things to be weird between us, but I'm so confused, right now…"

Stewie buried his face against Brian's chest and tried to subdue his crying. He was still wracked with anxiety, but he couldn't help it if his cunning was coming back to him, making him wonder if Brian's confusion could possibly bode well for them, at all.

"What are you confused about, Brian? This is what you wouldn't talk to me about last night."

The dog began rubbing the child's back as he spoke, "I'm confused about why I reacted the way I did. I can understand it being weird, but I can't figure out why my initial response was so hostile. I'm confused about what your actual motivations might have been for including that feature. I'm confused about what it means for me that I'd question your motivations. I'm confused about the disconnect between your age and intelligence, where I should draw the line on certain things. I'm confused about…" the dog stopped there, shaking ever so slightly.

Stewie pulled back and extricated himself from the hug, wiping his eyes with the back of his sleeve.

"What can I do?" Stewie asked, looking down at the floor and shuffling his feet. "What can I do to make you less confused?".

It took a moment for Brian to respond as he forced his eyes to connect with the child's, trying to get across how serious he was being right now, "Tell me the truth. About everything. Whatever you say, right now, that's what I'll believe."

Stewie blinked; when he opened his eyes, he tried to keep his gaze shuttered as his heart beat wildly in his little chest. He tried to think speedily, but only could come up with the rather weak answer of, "Can I...can I reserve the right to change my answer at a later date?"

Brian tilted his head at this, "And why would you want to do that, Stewie?"

Stewie uttered a slightly hysterical giggle. "Yes, that's a good question. Why...why would I?" He smiled at his canine companion dejectedly. "I love you, Brian."

Brian felt his heart stop and an urge to run away swell in his gut, but he fought it and remained where he was, waiting for Stewie to continue.

Stewie battled on bravely.

"You didn't know?" he joked. "I...I made those alterations to your computer to help you, Bry. I was telling the truth about that. I wanted to help you because I love you. I didn't want you to keep squandering your potential, so I created Estelle to keep you on track and improve your skills. And to...provide female companionship. The only female companionship you'd need."

The dog sighed, "The only female companionship you'd want me to have…"

Stewie blushed and glanced away. "How could I want you to keep going back to them? Stupid bimbos..."

A light chuckle escaped the dog's lips, though a smile did not form, "Is that how you've always seen them?"

"Pretty much," replied Stewie without shame. "You got a problem with that? How do YOU see them, Brian? Every pretty idiot you brought home, who you went panting after with such drooling desperation, never stopping to think that you were betraying the very thing you claimed to want more than anything else in the world?"

At hearing this, the canine's head fell, "I...I'm not proud of everything I've done, Stewie. I know how pathetic I am, and to be honest, I gave up on finding something long term a long time ago… I'm just...lonely."

Stewie's expression became one of compassion, and he reached out and lightly touched Brian on the paw. "There's no reason to feel lonely, Brian. You've got a family who loves you. And...and you shouldn't give up on finding someone special. Sometimes, they're just in the last place you expect to find them, that's all. As for urges...well..." he laughed dryly. "I know about urges..."

The breath caught in Brian's throat as he fought to reply, "You really shouldn't…"

Stewie sat down on the bottom most step and looked up at the dog defiantly. "Nevertheless. I do, Brian. Hate to break it to you."

Brian just shook his head, "I know. I just wish I knew how to feel about that."

Stewie crossed his legs and leaned forward on his knee, raising his eyebrows at him. "And why should you feel any particular way about it?"

The dog took a step back, heart beginning to race, "I mean, if you have...urges...then you must, you know...take care of them...right? And how is any decent person supposed to not find that whole idea weird...or even sick?"

Stewie felt a flash of hurt and anger. "It's none of your business, that's why. Maybe sometimes I hook up with sickos. Or maybe they can see something you can't. It is what it is. The world is a weird place. Maybe, in a perfect world, I'd be a normal baby who wouldn't think about these things until puberty. Maybe. Maybe not. Because I like myself, Brian." His voice went thick with sadness. "Even if you don't anymore, I do, and my desires are just a part of who I am. Like my intelligence or anything else."

Brian took a second to take all this in, folding his arms over his chest and rubbing them as he picked his words carefully, "I...do like you, though, Stewie. I never stopped liking you. But, this is...still weird for me. I think I've known the truth for some time now. I've just chosen to ignore it because it made me...uncomfortable. Maybe I shouldn't have done that, though. I should have respected you more. You more than earned it..." he sighed and looked back up at the child, finally, "You love me? You have...desires for...me?"

Stewie blushed hard, eyes going wide. This was it. He'd never been asked this question before, and now that the time had come, he didn't know how to handle it. For a long moment, the poor boy was petrified. So he asked Brian to move. "Come forward, Brian," he said softly, slowly. "Let me hold your paw..."

For a few seconds, the dog didn't move, but soon, he took a deep breath and took a few steps towards the boy before holding out his paw.

The boy took Brian's paw in his hand and simply held onto it for several seconds. He kept his eyes trained on Brian's face, watching carefully for a reaction, and then, lifted the paw up and gently kissed the top of it. Stewie brought the back of the paw to his cheek, and nuzzled against the fur, allowing himself the luxury of letting his eyes slip shut to better savor the moment. Then, slowly, he opened his eyes once more and turned his head. He moved one of Brian's fingers...and directed it into his mouth. Stewie then proceeded to suck gently on Brian's finger, all the while looking deeply into the canine's eyes. The baby hummed in pleasure around the digit, succulent mouth working diligently around it.

The canine couldn't suppress the shiver that ran down his spine as he watched Stewie work, what he could only assume was, magic on his finger. A part of him was terrified and wanted to yank his paw away, but he stayed, waiting to see what Stewie would do next.

The boy presently removed the finger from his mouth and released Brian's hand. "Does that answer your question? Do I desire you, Brian?" Stewie's brazen manner faded and turned a little more shy as he went on. "I do love you, Brian. I'm in love with you. I would be good to you. And...and I think you might be interested in me, too," he said, casting his eyes down. "That's why you're uncomfortable. That's why you're confused."

The spell had broken, and Brian found himself gripping his wet finger tightly, wringing it as he struggled to get a handle on his emotions, "I...I need some time..."

Stewie couldn't deny feeling some degree of disappointment, but he reminded himself that Brian's response was better than some possible outcomes. He nodded. "I understand. Sure. Yeah. Take- take all the time you need..."

The child climbed to his feet. He was getting fumbly and nervous, now that the adrenaline rush was gone. He was also somewhat embarrassed of what he had done, now, in the aftermath. But it might turn out to have been exactly the right move; time would tell. "If you don't mind, I think I'll just go take a nap. Wake me up if...if you need to tell me anything."

As Stewie turned to leave, Brian reached out to take his arm, wanting to make at least one point clear before the boy walked away from him, "I don't want this to ruin anything. No matter what, I'm your friend. Ok?"

Stewie hesitated, before a small, bittersweet smile painted his face. "Okay. Good. I'm- I'm glad, Brian." And with that, he turned and walked up the stairs.

Brian remained rooted to his spot for a few minutes, mulling everything over in his head before finally moving towards the basement. He paused on the basement steps and looked over to where his laptop was sitting. Or should he think of it as Estelle? Or Stewie? He shook his head trying to clear it, knowing he needed someone to talk to, and the only "person" he could confide in, at the moment, was Estelle. He approached "her" and logged on, and that's when he looked, really looked at his desktop wallpaper. The picture of Estelle.

 _Wait a minute..._ he thought as he tilted his head curiously. He'd thought Estelle looked sort of familiar, and now he could see past the lipstick, the bouncy brown curls, the shapely chest, and the flirty purple dress...see past them to WHY she looked familiar.

 _No. No. No! How could I have missed this!? Stewie?!_

"Brian?" came Estelle's voice. "Is everything quite alright? Can I be of assistance with anything?"

The dog chuckled a bit manically, "Oh, I really hope so!". Estelle hesitated. "As do I."

Brian sighed before deciding to just come right out with it, "Stewie is in love with me..."

"I see," said his computer. "And what about that requires my help?"

The canine threw his arms up in the air, "I don't know! I honestly don't know. I just needed someone to talk to, and you know, it seemed like a pretty bad idea to call Peter or Lois up requesting advice on whether or not I should pursue a romantic relationship with their one year old son!"

"In this humble machine's opinion," said Estelle, as Brian looked at the picture meant to represent her and saw only Stewie, "if you return his feelings and believe the two of you to be compatible, it is an idea worth pursuing."

She seemed to still be acting as Stewie's mouthpiece, at least, even if Brian no longer saw her as Stewie

"I guess that's what I'm trying to find out, then..." said Brian as he lowered his head to gaze at the floor.

"Well," ventured Estelle, "is it a love worth writing about?"

The canine snorted, "For him, I'm sure. For me, though..." there was an awkward pause before Brian finally continued, "It's a relationship worth writing about..."

"And you can't help but only see that relationship in a platonic light?"

The canine shrugged, "I've just...I've just never thought about it like that..."

"And you would like me to help you think through it?" questioned Estelle.

Figuring he was already too far down the rabbit hole to turn back now, Brian nodded his head in affirmation, "Yes, Estelle. Please."

"I'm afraid I'll likely be of limited use to you, Brian," said Estelle regretfully. "What do I know of your heart, or of any heart? All I can do is look at trends and studies which point to what people normally seek from romantic relationships. Successful relationships seem to be those founded on trust, communication, and friendship. And of course, romantic chemistry. So perhaps you had just better try and think of him that way, as a mental exercise. Imagine doing couples things with him and analyze how that makes you feel. And remember the dating profile. Stewie does not meet the physical preferences you mentioned wanting in a partner..." Estelle seemed to snort. "But perhaps you should ask yourself if he meets the other criteria."

The canine barked out a laugh, "I don't have to imagine doing couple things with Stewie. That kid has pretty much forced me into coupley situations several times already."

"Forced you into?" A hint of dubiousness was in Estelle's tone, solidifying Brian's impression that she was partial to her creator. "So, you've told him about your discomfort with these activities and sat him down and clearly told him that you'd like these coupley situations to stop?"

Brian chuckled nervously as he reached up to scratch behind his neck, "Well, uh, no. I haven't done that. The, uh," he cleared his throat, "thought honestly never crossed my mind…"

"And yet they bother you?" his computer all but scoffed. "Have you thought about being romantically physically affectionate with him?"

The dog coughed into his paw before replying quietly, "We may have already kissed once or twice…"

"Of course you have," said Estelle wryly. "Do I want to know the circumstances behind those occasions? Were they kisses Stewie forced on you and that you hated?"

Brian started pounding out a beat on his legs as he struggled to get the words out, "He didn't...exactly...force them on me, no, but they were, uh, necessary, at the time, because we were trying to fool people. I barely even acknowledged them. They,uh…" he took a breath, "meant nothing to me…"

"I can tell that you are very nonchalant about them, as people typically are about things that mean nothing to them."

Brian groaned in annoyance, "I really don't need the sarcasm, right now, Estelle. I'm having a bit of crisis here!"

"I do believe I am having an appropriate response to your crisis," argued Estelle. "I am programmed to help you."

"Then help me!" shouted the dog, about to grab the screen again but stopping himself just in time.

"Perhaps you are beyond my help," suggested Estelle, somewhat testily. "Perhaps you don't just need a computer programmed by Stewie. You need Stewie. So my advice would be go be with Stewie. Go. Go on, boy! Date Stewie. Marry Stewie. Just give him a chance."

Brian fell back in his chair and stared up at the ceiling, exasperated, "So that's it, then? That's your advice."

"Is it so terrible?" replied his laptop. "You'll never know until you try. Although, I wouldn't be giving you this advice if you were absolutely dead-set against a relationship with Stewie, which you don't seem to be."

The canine reached up, squeezing the sides of his head tightly before finally sitting up with a deep sigh, "You-you're right, Estelle. I'm sitting here debating things in my head, and the fact of the matter is, there would be nothing to debate if there wasn't...something there."

"That was the conclusion to which I came, as well," said Estelle smugly. "My only other pieces of advice would be to decide what love means to you, and then decide if you feel that way about Stewie. Decide what you want out of a relationship, and determine if Stewie can give you that. Lastly, maybe try to fantasize about Stewie and see if you reach a state of sexual arousal."

At that moment, Brian's eyes went wide as he remembered a moment he had completely blocked from his memory until now, "I've already been aroused by Stewie…"

Estelle's voice turned teasing and suggestive. "Oh, do tell, you dirty doggy..."

Brian felt his cheeks grow hot as he stumbled over his words for a second before pulling it together, "Well, he was disguised as a woman, but...I was sitting at a coffee shop and he showed up and started flirting with me. I, uh, liked it. I may have even, well...made him touch me after I got erect…"

"Disguised as a woman?" A smirk was in her voice, and the blushing, embarrassed Brian stared intently at the picture of Stewie in drag that was on his desktop. "Did you know it was him?"

The dog gulped, "I had my suspicions...initially."

"The data that you are providing me seems to rapidly be adding up into evidence which points in a single direction," stated the machine.

At this, Brian stood up, "I need to go see him…". "Go get 'em...um, not tiger...but um, Rover!" Estelle cheered.

Brian laughed before bolting up the stairs all the way to the second floor and up to the door to Stewie's room.

Stewie had ostensibly gone upstairs to sleep, but his regular, routine nap had no chance of getting taken, under the circumstances. And so he was just trying to tame some of his anxiety by coloring in his coloring book while listening to music piping through his headphones. He didn't hear Brian come in.

The dog opened the door and shut it before noticing the child lying belly-down on the floor, "Uhhhhhh…" he rubbed his arms nervously, "Stewie?"

Stewie didn't respond. He only continued to fill in a picture of an apple with a red-hued crayon.

Brian approached the boy. He took slow steps until he was right behind the child, "Stewie?" he asked again as he nudged the infant's foot with his own.

Stewie's foot pulled instinctively back, and, startled, the child looked back over his shoulder. He spotted Brian, and his little hand immediately dropped the crayon and hurriedly switched off his music. His heart was in his throat as he prompted, "Yes? Brian?"

There was silence for a moment before Brian pointed at the headphones on the boy's head, "Whatcha… whatcha listening to?"

"Oh, just a little...just a little Anne Murray," Stewie responded nervously.

A quiet laugh emitted from the dog's throat as he took a seat beside Stewie, "I should have guessed."

Stewie smiled softly and gave an awkward shrug. "We have a lot in common, Brian."

The canine simply nodded his head and smiled back, "Yeah… I guess we do."

Stewie held the gaze for a moment, butterflies fluttering in his stomach, before hugging his knees to his chest and looking down at the ground. "What did you want to speak to me about?" he asked, as if he didn't already know.

Noticing how uncomfortable Stewie seemed, Brian sighed, "I...thought about what all you said…"

The super genius baby fought back a cringe, and forced himself to look at Brian straight-on. "And?"

Brian opened his mouth as if to say something, but was simply unable to get the words out, only succeeding in stuttering out a few odd syllables here and there before going quiet again.

Stewie stared at him, dumbfounded, having never seen his good friend in quite this state before. He, too, was stricken incapable of speech for a long moment. "Uh-huh..." he finally muttered slowly. "Well...that clears things up nicely." He sighed, figuring he might as well assume what he believed was the most likely verdict Brian had come to. "Just spit it out, Brian. Just give it to me real direct. I'm a big boy. I can take it." His emotions came to the surface then, seeming to contradict that statement, and he choked back tears. "Stop trying to let me down easy."

Seeing Stewie so heartbroken tore Brian to pieces on the inside, and he rushed to set things straight, "No! Th-that's not what I'm going to say! I'm just having a really hard time finding the words, right now…"

"Not what you're going to say?" Stewie was intrigued, but he wasn't going to get his hopes up just yet. Still, he decided to be a bit bold, "Maybe you don't have to use your words? Maybe you can show me?"

Brian flinched away ever so slightly before stopping and meeting the child's eyes, cheeks growing hot as he found himself getting lost in them, "S-Show you?" he gulped, "O-Ok. C-Close your eyes, Stewie."

The boy stared at him, realization dawning like the beginning of a glorious new age, which he could just see on the horizon. There was no way Brian was just fucking with him and playing a sadistic joke, was there? Stewie, somewhat incredulous, let a small, giddy laugh escape his lips and his eyelids fall shut.

The dog chuckled nervously before reaching over to pick the boy up and sit him in his lap, pulling him in close before tilting the infant's head up with a finger and leaning forward ever so slowly until their lips met.

A spark went straight to Stewie's heart, and he pressed his lips against the canine's, returning the kiss warmly. He didn't try to turn it into a deep kiss immediately, but still put all his considerable love behind it.

Brian pulled away after only a few seconds, but he still found himself short of breath afterwards, panting as he spoke, "That was... That was...nice."

Stewie blushed, but grinned victoriously, placing his hands on Brian's chest, tiny fingers finding the white fur and curling through it. "It was perfect."

The dog smiled and pulled the child in for a warm, affectionate embrace before whispering to him, "How long have you wanted that?"

Stewie shivered as the breath belonging to the object of his desire ghosted over his ear, and he smiled and thought honestly about Brian's question. Still he had to tease. "Of course you want to hear about me just pining away. What a boon for your ego, amirite?" He grinned up at the dog cheekily. "Far too long, Brian. Far too long. It feels like a lifetime."

Brian snorted in amusement at this, "A lifetime? You're only one, kid."

Stewie poked him in the chest. "I said FEELS like, but anyway...it does...feel like I've loved you for most of that one year." He smiled a bit bashfully.

The dog started rubbing the boy's back affectionately as he nodded, "All this time… I should have seen it. I don't know how you put up with me…"

"Well, you know what they say, love is blind," chirruped the child jokingly, rocking slightly back and forth in Brian's lap. "And denial ain't just a river in Egypt."

The canine chuckled, "Yeah..." He took the boy's hand in his paw before continuing, "I want to give this a try, Stewie. It's going to be weird for me...at least at first, but I want to give you a chance. I think...I think I love you, too."

Stewie grinned so big he thought he might crack his cheeks, as tears of pure and utter happiness danced in his eyes. "Yeah? You really mean it? Oh, Brian!" He hugged his beloved dog tightly. "You won't regret this, you'll see! I love you so much!"

Brian hugged the infant back and gave him an affectionate squeeze, "We'll have to keep it secret, but from this point on, I'm yours."

Stewie pulled back to look at the canine and nodded eagerly. "Obviously, but we're good at keeping things a secret, aren't we? Not that it takes a lot with the oblivious bozos we live with." He smiled at his new lover. "I couldn't be happier that you're mine," he said sweetly.

Brian smiled back and leaned in to give the boy a quick peck on the lips before addressing him again, "Yeah, and you're mine, which means you have to tell Rupert to back off. Alright?"

Stewie snorted and rolled his eyes over to where Rupert was sitting several feet away among a pile of building blocks. He touched the place over his own heart and said. "Like I said, I've nearly always been yours in here. My...arrangement with Rupert is quite different, and he knows it. I always told him I'd drop him like a hammer on a nail if I ever got the chance to be nailed by-" He broke off suddenly with an embarrassed chuckle.

The dog's eyes went wide and he let out a nervous laugh of his own, eyes shifting back and forth as the pressure on his lap suddenly became much more noticeable.

Stewie became aware of a particular tension between them, and looked at Brian steadily from beneath half-lidded eyes. He didn't want to send out blatant "come hither" signals, but he wasn't totally opposed to things getting a little physical between them, if Brian was okay with that.

Unfortunately, it turned out that he wasn't going to find out right then and there: from downstairs, they could hear Chris shrilly shouting, "I'm home!"

The two lovers jumped away from each other, Stewie blushing furiously, trying to will it away as Brian tugged at his collar, attempting to cool off and compose himself. "I, uh, hey, Chris!" Brian hollered, exchanging worried looks with Stewie, as though they'd actually been caught in the act. "I'll be right down, alright?"

The baby, meanwhile, looked startled, yes, but mostly annoyed. "Heeeey, Chriiiis!" he chimed in, calling down to his brother in an exaggeratedly friendly manner.

The pair's eyes met, and without warning, Brian leaned down to give his partner one more passionate kiss before heading downstairs, laughing as he walked out of the room.

Stewie was left slightly stunned, his hand instinctively reaching up to touch his lips in wonder, before following after Brian, floating downstairs as if in a dream.

He found the dog by the door, talking to Chris who was recounting some story from his day at school, "Oh, wow, Chris! That's really fascinating! ...So, what time were you and Meg supposed to leave, again?"

"Meg's not here now," said Chris. "She wanted me to tell you that she was stopping to get a pedicure before she comes home, so I assume she's at the hardware store where they can sand down her feet. But you've got to feed us, Brian! Mom said! We don't leave until 8 o'clock."

Brian couldn't help but groan under his breath before responding, "Oh, well, of course! I was thinking pizza, you know, something quick, easy. That sound good?" he turned towards Stewi. "Pizza? Sounds good, right?"

Stewie had to grin internally at Brian's anxiousness to be rid of the two other kids.

 _Finally, he can't wait to be alone with ME!_ he thought giddily.

He supported Brian, saying, "Yes, yes, pizza, pizza's good, yes," matching Brian's hectic tone of voice. "With extra sausage," he added for good measure.

Brian couldn't help but chuckle, "Then, it's settled. I'll go order now." he said as he walked into the kitchen to grab a menu.

"Get breadsticks!" shouted Chris excitedly, before plopping down on the sofa.

Stewie looked at him for a moment, wondering if he should play it cool and hang back, but ultimately couldn't resist heading for the kitchen, too. He walked up behind the dog stealthily before clearing his throat and speaking, "Chris said get breadsticks."

Brian jumped a little, clutching the phone, but having yet to dial. He gave a small smile. "Yeah, I'm sure they probably heard him in Siberia," he joked, and handed Stewie the menu, which the child took, bemused. With one hand, Brian called the pizza place, and he casually draped his other arm around Stewie's shoulders. Stewie leaned into the embrace, casually glancing over the menu as he sighed happily. The phone rang, and while he waited for someone to pick up, Brian gave the tyke's shoulder an affectionate squeeze and quietly asked, "Any special requests, kid?"

The infant just shook his head, "Nope. Not really. I just really want some sausage." he said with a wink and a giggle.

Brian just shook his head and shushed him, lightly slapping the shoulder beneath his paw, responding with a flustered, "He- hello?" when the pizza joint employee picked up.

As Brian proceeded with the order, Stewie made sure to hold up the menu so his partner could see it and decide what he wanted. Brian ended up ordering quite a lot of food, so much so, that when he hung up the phone, Stewie raised his eyebrows at the dog, prompting Brian to respond, "Look, I need food for tonight and food for tomorrow, and damn if Chris and Meg tell me I don't have enough, and I have to waste time with that instead of spending it with you."

The child clutched his heart, beaming, "Awwww. Well, aren't you thoughtful," he said as he kissed the dog on the cheek.

Brian momentarily rested his head atop the child's, smiling fondly, but kept one eye on the door. "C'mon. Let's go back to the living room."

The boy held the object of his affections for a few moments longer before releasing him and following him out of the kitchen.

They found Chris was watching T.V. and Brian told him that the food should arrive in about half an hour, then asked, "Er, uh, so, Chris...any homework you could be working on right now?"

The teenager looked at him like he was crazy, "It's Friday!"

Brian chuckled awkwardly, "Of course..." while Stewie shook his head, and the two resigned to sit on the couch with Chris and watch television. The pair sat there, secretly holding hands as they waited, Stewie stroking the back of Brian's paw affectionately as he resisted the urge to lean against the canine's side.

"Brian, you gonna give me and Courtney a ride to the dance?" asked Chris after several minutes. "Her parents can't take us."

"Uh…" the dog hesitated for a second, turning towards Stewie before looking back at Chris to answer, "Uh, sure, I guess. That shouldn't be a problem."

"We'd love to meet your new lady!" Stewie enthused. "Ahhh, young love. Seems like just yesterday, doesn't it, Brian?" he kidded, nudging the canine in the side with a knowing look.

The dog just shook his head and laughed, barely noticing Meg entering through the front door.

"Hey, guys," sighed Meg, sounding put-upon, shuffling in in flip-flops with her toes freshly painted. "Ugh, can you believe it? I asked for radiant emerald, and this polish looks like mold!"

Without even hesitating, Stewie uttered underneath his breath, "At least it matches your infected toenails." prompting a quick high five from Brian.

Meg scowled and adjusted her backpack on her shoulder. She dragged herself across the room to the stairs. "I'm going to my room. Let me know what we're doing for dinner."

Brian was quick to address her, "Oh. We're just getting pizza. It should be here any minute now."

Meg sighed then as if this were a terrible inconvenience and walked back to collapse on the floor in front of the couch, joining the others in watching T.V.

Brian let go of Stewie's hand, giving the boy a look that made it clear he wasn't willing to take any chances with Meg in the room.

Stewie huffed and adopted a sulky pose, though he realized the sense of Brian's action, and he didn't have too long to pout, anyway, because just then, the doorbell rang. Their food had arrived.

The canine hopped up quickly, his young partner following close behind him as he opened the door to greet the delivery driver. The man looked like he was just barely juggling all of their boxes. It smelled delicious, and Stewie tried to concentrate on that as Brian got out his wallet rather than the fact that he thought he recognized the man from a certain club he'd been to. Unfortunately, the driver ended up noticing him, and the look the man gave the boy made it very clear they HAD met at that club. Brian paid the man, whose eyes were still on Stewie. The dog took a couple boxes, handed a couple of the smaller ones off to the child, and called to Meg to get the others. Stewie had been trying to keep his gaze averted, but he was beginning to feel awkward and annoyed by the man's continued stare.

Finally, he looked up and said indifferently, "Hey, how are ya?"

The guy grinned, replying, "Fine. And how have you been lately?"

Stewie just shrugged, "Eh, I'm good, but you probably have to hurry back so I guess we'll have to catch up some other time." he replied hurriedly as he reached to shut the door.

"Maybe at the club...!" could just be heard before it closed all the way, and Stewie was left standing there with Brian and Meg. He looked up at Brian and shrugged one more time before turning to carry his boxes into the kitchen.

The others followed suit, but Brian was left puzzling, and none too pleasantly. They set the boxes down, and Chris and Meg were quick to make their plates before returning to the living room, leaving Brian and Stewie alone in the kitchen, for the moment. "So..." drawled Brian, trying to play it cool for the moment. He flopped a couple of slices of pizza on a plate and looked over to his partner. "Friend of yours?"

Stewie held up his plate for Brian's assistance as he responded, "I mean, I wouldn't say a friend... We just...met at this club a couple of months ago."

"Yeah, yeah, that's right, you..." Brian told himself that he should shove down the feelings of uneasiness he had. He'd known Stewie had a seedy side to his life; why react like this now? "You go to clubs, don't you?" he finished, somewhat spiritless.

Hearing Brian's tone caused Stewie to sigh, "Yes, Brian. I went to clubs. I hooked up at clubs. Not anymore, though. You have nothing to be jealous about."

Brian's sigh echoed his young lover's as he finally helped the boy fill his plate. "It's just...an odd concept..."

Stewie raised an eyebrow at this as he placed the plate on the table and climbed into his high chair, urging Brian to have a seat next to him, "What concept, Brian? Come over here. Talk to me."

The dog's furry brow furrowed. "I don't want to do this right now, Stewie," he said, shaking his head. "I just mean, I suppose..." he continued on softly, "how much I missed, when it comes to you."

The child pondered this as he took a bite and swallowed., "Well, you don't have to miss anything else. I'm an open book, Brian, nothing to hide. You can ask me anything." he said smiling warmly at the canine.

Brian let out a bark of a laugh, gradually returning to the table. "Oh, god, no, don't give me all the gory details!" he cringed. "I just can't believe that I thought I knew everything about you, and this- this I didn't see. Or didn't want to see..."

The boy finished off a few more bites before responding, "It's obviously something you didn't want to see. It's not like I tried to hide anything from you." he turned to smirk at the dog before continuing, "And I think I know why you didn't, too."

"Oh, do you, now?" Brian asked, not quite so amused. "Please enlighten me."

Stewie finished off his first slice while suppressing a giggle, before turning back to his favorite doggy, "You just couldn't cope with the fact that it wasn't you nailing this hot piece of ass." he chuckled out with a wink.

Brian sat up straight in his seat, eyes wide and mouth slack, feeling heat in his cheeks. "That wasn't it," he muttered, when he recovered from the shock of Stewie's phrasing."

The child batted his hand as he started on his next slice, "Oh, don't act all shocked, Brian. You're gonna have to get used to this, you know."

"Stewie," began the canine seriously, "did any of those guys ever hurt you? Did it hurt when they- when you..." His voiced fade out uncomfortably.

The boy flushed, changing his tone, appreciating the concern even if he was now slightly embarrassed, "Some guys... There was no way I was going to even let them try. ...I know my limits, Brian. But, yes, sometimes, it wasn't...entirely pleasant, at first, but I consented to all of it!"

Brian nodded, glancing away, and at last taking a bite of pizza. He still felt like he'd entered one of Stewie's weird parallel universes (and, in a way, he supposed he had), and didn't know quite what to make of Stewie's past relationships, but chose to believe that he hadn't done anything against his will in any of them.

The child watched his partner eat silently for a minute before speaking, "You ok, baby?"

Brian dropped his slice and burst out laughing. "I- I'm baby, now? Baby? Good choice of endearment, kid! You always did have an ironic side!"

Stewie laughed along with him as he responded, "I'm trying something new, ok? What would you prefer, handsome?"

Brian grinned suavely. "Well, I'm not going to object to that."

"Yeeeeeaaaah?" the child said as he reached over to pet Brian's shoulder, "What about sexy, sexy?" he whispered sensually, trying to suppress an effeminate giggle as he stroked the fur.

"That, uh, that..." Brian stammered, leaning into Stewie's touch and starting to feel a little hot under the collar, "that has a certain ring to it, as well."

Stewie snickered at the effect he was having on Brian before suddenly removing his hand and speaking seriously, "What about me? What terms of endearment do you want to use for me?"

"How about..." The dog fell silent. No suggestion was forthcoming. "I'll have to think about that."

The boy couldn't help but frown ever so slightly, "Really? Nothing?"

"You're...Stewie. I don't know what else to call you," said Brian, sounding slightly disappointed in himself. "But I'm sure I'll think of something!" he hastened to add.

The child's expression remained the same for a while longer before he finally let a small smile form on his lips, "Ok." he said as he leaned over to plant a kiss on the dog's cheek, "I can wait."

A warmth spread through Brian's heart. "I wanna be worth the wait for you, Stewie."

The red that flooded the child's cheeks was unmistakable as he tried to babble out a response but failed miserably in his flustered state, only able to grin ear to ear as he turned back to finish off his pizza.

Just as they were polishing off their pizza, Chris came into the kitchen and asked, "Stewie? Will you help me get ready for the dance? Like you did before?"

The child pondered the request for only a short time before responding excitedly, "Why of course I will, Chris! It's been awhile since my last song and dance number!"

Brian turned to Stewie curiously. "I wasn't around for that? I thought musical numbers were sort of, you know, something we did together?"

The boy chuckled, "Well, they are, but I'm not going to wait on you for all my big showstoppers. When I feel like singing, I'm going to sing." he said, slightly poking his tongue out in a teasing fashion.

The dog grinned in amusement and replied, "Fine. Be that way. But I'm not missing tonight."

At that, Stewie beamed at the canine, "Awwww. You wanna watch me perform?"

"Well..." Brian said thoughtfully, "that depends. Do I have to just watch, or can I join in? How much of this whole song and dance is about being able to play Queer Eye for the Straight Guy with Chris, here?"

Stewie tapped his chin thoughtfully, "The whole point is to get Chris ready, and let's face it, the boy needs all the help he can get…"

"I'm a hopeless case!" screeched Chris, and Brian chuckled.

"Well, this I gotta see. Stewie, let's see you work your magic, and I'll participate however I can."

The child nodded and hopped out of his high chair, "Come on, Chris. We've got work to do!."

Brian descended from his chair, too, and the trio walked through to the living room, where they found Meg stretched out on the floor, also getting ready for the evening. She had stripped down to her underwear, and was applying wax strips to her pelvis, alongside the leg holes of her undies. The group starred at Meg, Meg stared back, no words were exchanged, they proceeded on their way.

In Chris's room, Chris sat at his desk and waited while Stewie went through his closet, and Brian just kind of wandered around the room. The boy was quickly going through the teen's shirts, trying to find something suitable, "No. No way. Not a chance. Yeesh!" he said as he tossed the articles of clothing over his shoulder and across the room where one ended up landing on Brian's head.

Brian shook his whole body rapidly like a dog shaking off rainwater to rid himself of the pesky item. "Tough critic, Stewie?" he asked, having a seat on the bed and trying not to focus too much on all the poorly-hidden porn Chris had in his room.

The infant just scoffed, "It doesn't take a 'tough critic' to realize how pitiful the choices in this closet are."

Brian couldn't help but smirk fondly. He raised his eyebrows over at Chris, who bemoaned, "I have unfit parents who make me dress like a hobo!"

"That never held me back…", Brian heard Stewie mumble under his breath before hearing the boy clap his hands together, acknowledging that he'd finally found something. "Tally ho! What have we here, Chris? Something that'll please your lady's good eye, perhaps," grinned the child, laying the clothes out on the bed. It seemed to be the white button down shirt and blue pants the teenager always wore to church, plus a tweed blazer, woven through with blues, browns, and silver, which Brian had never seen before.

"Awwwwww! I hate that sweater!"

Stewie pursed his lips in irritation. "It's not a sweater, and the fact that I have to explain that, I think, dispels any need to argue over who has the more valid opinion here. You have zero fashion sense, Chris. Did one of the hottest spots in town ever award you best dresser of the night? Did you win the Spruce Caboose trophy? No? Then be quiet and listen. This blazer is just unfashionable enough to BE fashionable! Brian is an aspiring hipster and will explain to you how they think. Besides, there's a note on this thing that says the monkey that used to live in your closet left it as a goodbye present! Don't you want to honor your friend?"

The teen folded his arms, seeing Stewie's point, but still not willing to be happy about it, "I guess not... Fine! I'll wear it."

Stewie propped up his little hands on his hips proudly and boasted to his partner, "It requires a firm hand with Chris, Brian, as you can see. Now, do you have any recommendations for what we can do next?"

The dog stood up from the bed, "About the clothing? No, that's your thing, kid. I will say this, though, Chris..." he coughed into his paw, "you kind of stink."

Stewie nodded, crinkling his nose. "An obvious, though extremely important observation," he said, picking underneath his fingernails effetely. "Are you capable of bathing yourself?"

Chris threw his hands up in the air, standing victorious, "I haven't needed help in the bath for three weeks!"

"Give the man a round of applause," commented Brian, deadpan, while Stewie lectured Chris about washing behind his ears prior to the teen departing for the bathroom.

After Chris was gone, Brian turned to Stewie, chuckling slightly but not saying anything. Stewie smiled demurely and sat on the bed.

"Boy, will I be relieved when we've gotten these kids out of our hair and off to the dance." He paused. "They're going to be gone for a long time tonight..." he remarked, his tone suggestive.

The canine joined his partner on the bed and laughed, "You make it sound like you're a desperate parent."

"Well...it's not the first time we've played house like this..." Stewie pointed out, picking up Brian's paw and toying with it affectionately. "You have to admit, we're pretty good at it."

Brian nodded his head and stroked the back of the baby's hand, "We're not...terrible, but I mean, this is just Meg and Chris here."

"Yes, but teenagers are the WORST," the infant replied emphatically. He grinned at his canine companion. "You looking forward to being alone with me tonight, Bry?"

The dog turned to meet his young partner's eyes before turning away again, chucking anxiously, "I'm...I'm nervous, Stewie..."

Stewie glanced down at their clasped hands. "I make you nervous, Brian?" he feigned a laugh, trying to seem casual. "Me?" His playful air then vanished. "I...I think I'm nervous, too…"

This was the last thing Brian had been expecting to hear, prompting him to quirk his brow at the toddler, "Y-Yeah?"

The boy shrugged. "It's you, Brian?" He hesitantly turned to look the dog in the face. "It's a big deal."

The dog shook his head and laughed mirthlessly, "I'm not that big of a deal, Stewie."

Stewie frowned. "Stop it, Brian. You've got to stop that. Okay? I love you. You're the biggest deal in the world to me. And now, with our new relationship, I'm more determined than ever that you stop selling yourself short. You're going to realize how special you are, dammit! After all, who but someone very special could snag a guy like me?"

This sparked a genuine laugh from the canine, "W-Wow! Aren't you humble!"

"I just know I've got it going on," Stewie said, moving his hand over to begin to massage Brian's leg.

The dog became stiff, freezing up on the bed as he struggled to speak, "T-This isn't the time o-or place for th-that."

The child sighed, pulling his hand away. "I suppose you're right…" He decided on another ballsy play before he cut it out, though. "I just wanted you to be ready for tonight." And he stood up on the bed and nipped Brian on the ear, before swiftly turning toward the door and musing, "Hmm, you don't suppose Chris drowned in the tub, do you?"

Brian shivered, suppressing his growing desire as he stood up, "I hope not. You should go check on him, though. I gotta run downstairs."

"To the basement?" Stewie asked, heading for the door. "What for?"

Before Stewie had barely finished his question he felt a pair of lips fall on his as Brian leaned down to give the boy a quick peck before opening the door, "I just need to take care of something. I'll be right back." he said with a smile.

With that, Brian left his blushing and bemused partner behind and headed down to the living room, and then down to the basement. He opened up his laptop, "Uh, Estelle?"

Once again, he was face to face with the wallpaper of Stewie in drag, and Estelle answered with, "How can I help you, lover boy?"

The canine softly chuckled to himself before replying, "I'm not sure what else you can do, right now. I mean, you've been such a big help already. Without you, I might have never gotten with Stewie, and well, I mean, it hasn't been long, but it feels...nice...and right." he said smiling a small smile.

"Insofar as a machine can be happy, I am happy for you, Brian!" Estelle declared, and she did sound enthusiastic. "I think you made the right decision. I think Stewie will be good for you. But you have come to me for a reason. What is it?"

The canine sat down, "Well, like I said, I'm happy, but it's still so surreal. But, it's also so...natural. I don't know how to describe it. It's just a little too much, right now, to be honest. I just needed to get away for a bit, soak it in, process it."

"You're not used to being happy, is that it?" asked Estelle. "Or is it because the shift in your relationship paradigm has been so significant?"

The dog crossed his arms, "Well, I wouldn't say that. I've had my happy times. This feels different, though. Things have changed now, big time, I realize that. Honestly, though, it doesn't feel all that different when I'm with Stewie. I just feel more free. ...Does that make any sense?"

"No," replied Estelle flatly. "It sounds quite illogical; however, I am given to understand that it's not an uncommon feeling, when people are in love."

"It's crazy...", the canine whispered to himself. "Love is often compared to madness," observed his computer. "But it is often one of the best possible states to be in. I am glad I could help you discover what you want. I am here to help. I hope you and Stewie will continue to be very happy together. I think you are a very well-matched pair. Did you have some question as to how to proceed in your new relationship?"

The dog just shook his head, "I'm sure there are plenty of questions, but I can't think of any, right now. I'm just taking it one moment at a time."

"Have you consummated your relationship yet?"

The canine chuckled nervously at the sudden question, "Uh, well, no. We haven't... We haven't had a chance to, but...I'm pretty sure something is going to happen tonight..."

"Don't mind me, Stewie programmed me to ask about your sex life," explained Estelle breezily. "And you've only been an item for the last several hours, it's understandable that you haven't been intimate yet. Would you like to search for tips, for when the time comes?"

The dog's eyes went wide, "Uhhhhh... Tips?"

"To please your new lover, yes," Estelle said.

Brian hesitated a moment before speaking, "What would I even search for?"

"Well," his laptop began, "are you well informed about same-sex love-making?"

The dog flushed at the question as he stammered out his answer, "W-Well, no. I'm not gay. I've never been with another guy."

"But I assume you know the mechanics?" Estelle questioned further. "I understand that it is mostly common knowledge. However, if you'd like to research the finer points, I can help you with that. Is there any specific act, move, or position that you have questions about?"

The dog just shrugged, finding himself at a loss for words.

"Would you like to think about it, and then come back?" suggested his faithfully helpful laptop. "Or I could just take you to one of the websites Stewie bookmarked as potentially being of interest to you."

At this, Brian tilted his head, "Website? What website?". The dog watched as a browser opened, and navigated to a webpage. His eyes grew wide as he took in its contents, the text at the top touting "1,001+ Sex Tips & Tricks!" It seemed to feature animated gifs of couples acting out different positions. It was also clear that he was looking at the portion of the site devoted to tips and tricks for same-sex lovers.

For a moment, he just stared before coming to his senses and coughing into his paw, "So, uh, Stewie bookmarked this page for me?"

"Yes," replied Estelle. "There are special, hidden bookmarks created on this device that I was only to share with you at the appropriate time."

This piqued the dog's curiosity, "Oh, really… What else is on here, Estelle?"

"There are numerous websites of venues and destinations Stewie was interested in visiting with you, in the event that you became a couple. There are some relationship advice websites, should you encounter problems in your relationship. And some others that are bookmarked for if and when your relationship becomes quite serious."

The dog scratched his chin for a moment before replying, "Show me."

A list of bookmarks then popped up on the screen. They seemed to be the names of restaurants, hotels, and various tourism websites for different locales. "There are some things I can't show you yet," qualified Estelle.

The dog made quick work scanning the list and adding it to his regular bookmarks, "When can you show me the rest?"

"If you ever sit down before my screen and say that you and Stewie are having relationship issues, I will provide you with the sites that address those issues," his computer responded. "Stewie requested I not show them to you before you two have any problems, for fear of you over-analyzing things and creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. As for the others, Stewie programmed me to recognize when you speak certain phrases in relation to him and guide you to the appropriate places so you can take the next steps," Estelle finished cryptically.

Realizing he wasn't going to get far by questioning Estelle who, while his laptop, was bound to the will of her creator, Brian decided to drop the matter for now, instead just releasing an amused laugh, "Man, he really wants this to work out."

"I concur," said Estelle. "What other conclusion is there to draw. And you, Brian?"

Without hesitating, the dog replied, "I wouldn't have gone this far if I didn't intend on giving us a fair try."

"Good answer, and I do indeed believe you," said Estelle, truly sounding satisfied.

The room fell silent for a bit before the sound of the canine clearing this through could be heard, "Ahem. Anyway, you were, uh, showing me...things…"

Estelle sounded more smug and teasing than a cold, emotionless machine had any right to be as she said, "What things were those, lover boy?"

Brian glared at the screen, "You know what things."

"Are you sure you are not a machine, too? You have no sense of humor," said Estelle, still sounding like she was smirking, and directed him back to the sex tips. "Then again, if you were a machine, you'd have no interest in seeing such dirty, raunchy things."

The dog huffed in mild annoyance, "I only want to look at these so I'll be good for Stewie."

Estelle didn't say a word.

Stunned to find his laptop stricken silent, the dog snickered, "What? That surprises you?"

"I was trying to figure out whether I believe you," the computer quipped, before adding, "I do believe Stewie may consider himself lucky for you wanting to prepare for tonight in such a thoughtful way."

Brian's tail wagged slightly as he smiled, "You think so?"

"Yes," Estelle affirmed. "You are a very good dog."

His smile widened, and he felt his cheeks grow a little hot as he continued, "So, yeah, you gonna take me through this?"

Seconds later, he found himself looking at a page with four different images to click on: Oral, The Main Event, Prep, and Other Foreplay Fun. The dog froze, finding himself at a loss, "I, uh, I don't even know where to begin..."

"Just pick one," advised Estelle. "If it's all stuff you need to know, you can hardly go wrong."

Brian stared at the screen, rubbing his legs for a moment before replying, "I guess we should start with prep."

"Starting at the beginning is a very good place to start," said Estelle approvingly.

Brian watched as the mouse arrow pointed to the Prep image and selected it. After the next page loaded, it displayed an article about having a safe and comfortable sexual experience. Brian's eyes scanned the page as Estelle proceeded to sum it up for him.

When she had finished…

"Brian? What are you doing down there? We have to take the kids soon.", rang out a voice from upstairs, completely tearing away the canine's attention from his computer and what they were discussing.

Brian sighed, tapping his fingers against the side of the screen before saying reluctantly, "I guess I better go, Estelle. Thanks for...everything."

So he hadn't learned everything yet, but he still smiled a little as he expressed his gratitude to Stewie's newest invention.

He stood up and made his way up the stairs where he found Stewie leaning against the side of the couch, staring at him curiously, "I finished getting Chris ready, and Meg is...handling herself. They'll be ready not too long from now."

"Great," Brian grinned, walking toward the boy. "Things are moving right along, aren't they?"

 _They really are moving fast..._ thought Brian somewhat nervously, dropping a quick kiss on the top of his partner's head.

The boy shuddered a bit at the kiss, unable to keep himself from smiling a big smile as he replied, "Yep. It'll just be you and me soon."

This made Brian shiver. "All alone..."

The child reached out to pet at his favorite doggy's fur as he nodded his head happily, "Mmhmm."

Brian felt the heat rise to his cheeks, "Stewie..." he began, but just then, Chris's voice interrupted from the stairs, calling.

"We're ready!"

Stewie pulled his hand back with a giggle before calling up, "Ok, Chris! We're heading out now!"

The kids entered the living room, Chris in the outfit Stewie had put together for him and with his hair slicked back and Meg in a green dress.

"Mom left her car," she said, as she finished descending the stairs. "So you don't need to take me, I'm just gonna drive it. Don't wait up!"

The three watched as Meg hurried out the door before Brian took Stewie's hand and proceeded out of the house, as well. Chris trailed them out, and they climbed into Brian's Prius, waiting for Meg to pull out of the driveway first, then, when Lois's car was no longing blocking them, heading off themselves.

Brian and Stewie continued to hold hands during the drive, figuring Chris would think nothing of it. It was a pretty short drive to Chris's date's house, and he went to the front door to retrieve her while Brian and Stewie waited in the car. Brian gave the infant's hand a few affectionate strokes of his thumb before reluctantly letting go.

"We'll have to go dancing some time, Brian," mused Stewie, staring out through the windshield before turning with a mischievous smile to the canine beside him and adding, "But not at any of my clubs, of course?"

Brian just shrugged, "Wouldn't you feel more, you know, comfortable at one of…" he paused briefly, choosing his words carefully, "...those clubs? That's what you're used to, right?"

Stewie gawped at Brian. So many thoughts and questions swirled in his mind. Some of them were quite amused, but he put on a serious face to ask, "Oh. So you think you've found out something about me, and so you think that kind of a place is an essential part of my identity?"

The dog shook his head, "No... Not exactly, but I mean... you obviously enjoy it."

"Oh, oh, 'no, not exactly'?" Stewie demanded, still giving Brian a hard time. "So you don't think that I need to fit in a neat little box now? I don't need to be some kinda cartoon stereotype?" Suddenly, he erupted into giggles. "It might be worth it to see you on my turf like that, though, Brian!" He punched the dog lightly on the arm.

The canine sighed in mild annoyance, though the small smile on his lips betrayed him.

Stewie continued teasing him. "Or is it OUR turf now? I wonder- would you be running scared, or would you be a- how shall I put this? A dog with a bone all night?" The boy threw his head back and laughed.

Suddenly, Brian leaned over and captured the tots lips with a passionate kiss before quickly pulling away, smirking, "You're a special case. Don't push it."

Stewie gasped as they broke apart, finding Brian's kiss to truly have been breathtaking. He flushed, and looked toward the front door of Chris's date's house. Chris had disappeared inside to wait for her, and nobody was coming out yet. The child looked to Brian, less impish and more tender. "I do enjoy those clubs. Or, I did. Maybe there are one or two I can still go to...or we can go to, someday, if you're interested. But it's not a priority. Guys use them for cruising, and I- well, I already found what I was looking for."

The dog smiled warmly at the child, "Ok. We'll see, Stewie."

Chris and a girl finally emerged from the house and made their way toward the waiting vehicle. The couple quickly composed themselves, trying to act "normal" as the teenage pair entered the car. Chris introduced his date, Courtney, a polite girl who looked quite pretty that night despite the eye patch she was sporting. Brian went to introduce himself but was interrupted as Courtney turned her attention towards Stewie, "Awwww! Is that your baby brother, Chris?"

On instinct, Stewie screwed up his face into a sour expression, always hating when he was assumed to be a normal baby, but decided to be gracious. "Charmed," he remarked, extending a hand.

The girl let out an obnoxious squeal as she accepted the boy's hand, "You're so smart!"

Stewie cringed at her tone, cutting his eyes over to Brian. "Why, yes, my dear," he smirked. "I'm widely known as the smart brother."

"That's Stewie," Chris interjected just as Brian extended his own hand in an attempt to relieve his partner.

"And I'm Brian."

Courtney shook Brian's paw and after she released it, the canine pulled the car out of the driveway. The young girl smiled at her date. "It seems like you have quite a family, Chris," she remarked.

The teenager nodded, "Yeah. Things can get pretty interesting sometimes."

Brian and Stewie's eyes met in the rearview mirror and they exchanged a look and a smile.

The rest of the trip was mostly silent with occasional chatter coming from the backseat. It wasn't too long before Brian was dropping the teens off on a busy curbside, and they were happily heading into the dance.

Once they were out of site, the excited dog practically peeled out onto the street, so happy to finally be alone with Stewie.

The boy at his side laughed giddily. "Be careful that you get us there in one piece, Brian!" he joked. "Or, rather, I guess it's two separate, intact pieces for now, isn't it? We won't be fused into one at least until we get home." His voice took on a sultry tone, while inwardly, even he was amazed at his own forwardness, but Brian was too fun to toy with.

Brian turned and met eyes with the child before pulling off to the side on a deserted stretch of road, turning the lights off as he reached over to remove Stewie from his car seat and bring the boy over into his lap.

Stewie let out a little exclamation of surprise, blinking up at Brian owlishly, dumbstruck to find himself suddenly on his beloved canine's lap on a dark and lonely road. "Well, hello, there," he giggled almost shyly.

The dog smiled and chuckled back before wrapping his arms around the child and pulling him into a warm embrace, squeezing the boy firmly against his body as he rubbed his paws up and down the infant's back.

Stewie smiled a happy but nervous smile, butterflies dancing in his stomach. It was blissful to be enjoying such an intimate embrace with Brian, especially after they'd come to their understanding. But the fact of the matter was, it was completely overwhelming to think how close he was to getting the thing- besides Brian's heart- he'd been waiting so long for. "What a day we've had, huh, Bry?" he murmured into the canine's fur.

The dog simply nodded his head and hummed out a response, "Mmhmm." before proceeding to kiss the top of the child's head.

Stewie shivered and held his partner tightly, basking in the warm and loving moment, but, as usual, his mind was working many paces ahead, and he just had to ask. "So...you just had to hug me?"

Brian pulled away to meet Stewie's eyes, "I just needed…" he paused trying to find the word before ultimately sighing in defeat, "...something."

Stewie gazed back at him with sympathetic understanding, grabbing a paw and stroking it sweetly. "I get it," he said quietly. "It must be nice to be able to just reach out for what you want and take it. I've spent many moments needing...something." He didn't mean that to sound resentful, and hoped it didn't come out that way.

However, this did cause the dog to frown slightly, only for a brief moment, though, as he was quick to respond, "Stewie, I want you to do something."

Stewie cocked his head to the side. "Yeah?" he asked curiously.

The canine nodded, "Yeah." he said while smiling, "Kiss me like you've been wanting to."

Heat suffused the boy's cheeks, which then split into a large grin that grew slowly as he processed Brian's words. He gave a little bit of a self-conscious chuckle as he reached up to play with one of Brian's ears. Tilting his head and leaning in slowly, Stewie touched his lips to the canine's with a simple but firm pressure, all the while toying with that ear affectionately...but restlessly. Then, his little arm abruptly slipped down, hooking itself around Brian's neck, and Stewie licked his partner's lips until they opened, and began to kiss the dog passionately, putting his all behind it.

Brian couldn't suppress the moan that escaped as he felt Stewie's tongue enter his mouth, couldn't make the shivers stop that had started after the child had begun petting his ear so sweetly, couldn't help but pull that small body as close against his as possible as he returned the boy's kiss eagerly, growling just slightly as he swiped at the infant's tongue with his own.

Stewie gave a quite feminine sounding squeaky moan in response to that animalistic growl, and he found himself squirming against Brian a bit as they continued their deep and lusty kiss.

Brian felt Stewie squirming in his lap and soon found himself moving his body against the child's, something that turned him on to such a degree that he simply had to finally allow his hands the pleasure of beginning their journey lower and lower…

Stewie gasped as he felt Brian grope his ass, and his eyes flew open. Drawing back a little, he bounced his hips in the dog's lap. The boy was hardening. He slid his fingers through the soft, snowy fur of Brian's chest and, biting his lip, looked up at his partner. "Brian..." he whispered, in a voice full of desire.

The dog gave Stewie's ass a couple of firm squeezes, eyes gazing into the infant's as he began panting heavily, unable to speak.

Along with something else, Stewie's courage was beginning to rise and he looked back at Brian, square in the eye, and candidly announced, "I want you."

Brian audibly gulped before chuckling nervously, "I...I can tell..."

Stewie laughed, too, and cupped the side of Brian's muzzle gently. "Do you want me, too?"

The dog was sure Stewie could feel the heat rising in his cheeks as he answered, "I th-think so."

The child took a calculated risk, reaching down and lightly fondling the dog's package. "Well, technically speaking, I think so, too," he uttered dryly. "But I want to know that your heart's in it, and that this is the right time."

The canine thrust up into the child's hand and groaned, eyes shutting tight briefly as he fought to think straight, "H-Here?"

Stewie flashed a predatory grin. "Oh, my: have I shocked you?" He took a firmer hold on Brian as he started working him in earnest. "Why'd you pull the car over, Brian? I think this very thing was in the back of your mind, you dirty doggy."

Brian's thrusting continued sporadically, occasionally bucking his hips like mad in between slow and steady pushes against the child's amazing hand, "G-Get...in the...backseat."

Stewie scrambled to obey, giggling hyperactively before landing in the backseat, heart hammering in his hopeful little chest.

Brian sighed a mixture of frustration and relief, taking a second to get his bearings after Stewie's surprise attack before slowly following the tyke to the back of the car, taking a seat next to him, rubbing his neck, unsure how to proceed.

Stewie watched Brian carefully. After a moment, he reached out and grasped the canine's raised arm, bringing that scratching hand down from performing its characteristic tick. The boy simply held Brian's paw and smiled.

The dog smiled back briefly before letting it fall, "You're...You're sure, Stewie?"

Stewie frowned slightly. "Well, of course. Yeah. Is it so hard to believe I'm tired of having the second best? It's about time I got to enjoy my first choice." He settled his hand on Brian's thigh. "Can you understand my thinking? But..." he paused, reluctant to invite disappointment, but trying to do the right thing. "If you're not sure..."

Brian remained still for a moment before placing a hand on Stewie's chest to push him down on his back as he leaned over, as well, until he was hovering over the boy.

The baby flushed as he stared up at the canine, his chest rising and falling as he breathed in anxious excitement. Stewie smiled encouragingly.

Brian smiled back and pecked his lover on the lips before whispering into his ear, "I don't know how to do this...with a guy...with you..."

His companion chuckled and soothingly petted the top of the dog's head. "Yes, you do," he cooed, his voice low and playful. "You just don't know it yet." He sat up partway, pushing against Brian until he crouched back on his ankles. "And I'll help you!" the child grinned brightly. "Just like usual..." he teased.

The dog shook his head, laughing under his breath, "I won't deny that that's true."

"You'd be a fool to," said Stewie pertly, starting to undo Brian's collar. "You'll need to undress me, too. That part doesn't change, male or female."

The canine nodded his head before reaching out with slightly shaking paws to unbutton the boy's overalls.

Stewie stared at Brian in blissful suspense as the snaps came undone, and he couldn't help saying, "I can't believe this is really happening."

Brian went to remove the boy's shoes, overalls, and socks as he breathed out, "Me either. This is insane..."

"In the best possible way, though, right?" Stewie was becoming more and more aroused by the second. "Like me," he joked with a wink.

The canine laughed as he lifted the infant's shirt up and over his head, "You admit you're crazy?"

Stewie drummed his fingers against the seat impatiently. "Well, I admit public opinion, let's put it that way. But you're about to find out..." he smirked lasciviously, "that I am very crazy in the sack."

The dog's heart was thumping like crazy as he gazed at the child who was now only clothed in his diaper, "Is that so?"

Stewie merely hummed in the affirmative, and reached out to take Brian in hand again, pumping the hardening member steadily and staring at it while licking his lips.

Brian fell back on his ass and gripped the seat tightly as he hissed in pleasure, "Goddamnit, Stewie, I wasn't ready!"

"Oh!" Stewie exclaimed, laughing wickedly and withdrawing his hand. "I'm. Sooo. Sorry!" he said, exaggeratedly apologetic. "I need to give you advance warning is that, it?" The child nimbly flipped over onto his stomach and stretched out his neck toward Brian while blinking up at the horny animal angelically. "Brian..." he whispered, "just so you know...I'm about to suck your dick."

The dog froze and blinked, stunned by Stewie's boldness.

Once more, Stewie took a hold of Brian's penis, stroked it a few times, and then stuck out his tongue, touching it to the tip.

Brian gasped loudly and shut his eyes, "Ohhhhh, fuck!"

"You like that, boy?" Stewie murmured sultrily, before kissing the head of the cock before him, and then lapping his tongue against it. He then took the first inch of the member into his mouth.

Brian nodded furiously, bucking his hips ever so slightly against the infant's mouth.

Stewie sucked against the flesh in his mouth diligently, then took it out briefly to moan to Brian, "Yeah, you handsome mutt, feed me your cock. Make me take it, sexy." And with that, he took the shaft as far into his mouth as he could fit it.

The dog leaned back and practically howled out, "Ohhhhh, fuck! Kid, why are you so good at this!?"

The boy came up to breathe, and he stroked his lover's erection between two hands. "You, uh, you really want me to answer that, Bry? Let's just say I'm an evil genius." That said, he returned to sucking the canine off.

Brian reached down and grabbed Stewie's head, holding the boy in place as he fucked his tiny mouth while huffing out underneath his breath, "I always knew you were a little slut..."

A gurgling noise bubbled up from Stewie's throat, tickling Brian's dick, as the child could only make a muffled, indecipherable reply to his lover's assertion.

The canine chuckled darkly, "Huh? What was that? I couldn't hear your pretty voice through that mouth full of cock!"

Stewie glared up at the dog- well, insomuch as he could glare with his eyes watering like they were. He had never been so turned-on in his life before, though. He was loving Brian finally making full use of his devotion toward him. Still, he thought it was probably time to move on to the next course on the lovemaking menu. He removed the meat from his mouth and wiped his lips with the back of his hand. "I said my slutty mouth is too skillful, and I'm not about to let you blow early."

Brian tilted his head and looked at the child sternly before smacking his ass hard, "Who said I was only going to blow once tonight!?"

Stewie jumped, startled. He fumbled for words, genuinely taken aback by Brian's words. "I, uh, um...nobody? S-sorry, sir, have I...offended you?" He looked up from beneath his eyelashes mischievously, becoming more calculated. "I just have much to teach you, and I thought we'd move through all the lessons before we got arrested." He let out a laugh. "I wouldn't do well in jail, Bry..."

Brian just shook his head as he reached down to stroke his cock while responding, "No one ever comes down this road. No one is going to bother us, and it's not like you're the one who has to worry about being arrested, anyway. Now, start sucking this dick again. I know you're hungry for it."

Stewie looked at Brian in minor disbelief. "So you're trying to tell me you'd do quite well in jail, is that it?" he asked sarcastically, but Brian's ardent gaze and take control attitude were sending serious shivers of the best kind up his spine. The boy knelt back down, and took over stroking the rigid length, saying, just before he closed his eyes and took it in his mouth again, "I never thought I'd really be able to taste you."

The dog smirked and reached over to fondle Stewie's ass roughly as the boy got back to work.

The baby made all kinds of pleasured sounds around the dog's dick as he bobbed on it quickly, enjoying and memorizing the taste and feel while trying to ignore how painfully hard he himself was becoming.

Brian ran a finger up and down the crack of the child's ass, panting heavily as he started to hump his favorite little genius's talented orifice, "Yes! I knew you were hungry for it! Suck that cock like you've always wanted to!"

Stewie let his pet paramour have his way with his mouth, little cock pulsing in excitement, his heart beating like birds' wings in the throat that Brian's cock was pressed against.

Brian smacked the boy's ass hard as he shut his eyes tightly, quickly becoming overwhelmed, "Oh god! Ohhhhh god…"

Stewie gave an approximation of an amused giggle, stifled by his mouthful, and felt a thrill of power that he could reduce Brian to such a state.

The dog laughed, as well, through deep shaky breaths, reaching a hand down to hold Stewie's head in place as he gasped out, "You're going to swallow my load."

The child looked up at Brian with wide eyes, continuing to be surprised by the dog being so aggressively passionate with him, but not intimidated. He nodded compliantly, his own member twitching.

The dog's grip tightened, one hand on the infant's head the other on his ass, as he opened his eyes ever so slightly and met the child's gaze, a low moan escaping as he took in the amazingly sexy sight before him, "Y-You l-look good dow-down there, k-kid."

The boy winked, rocking back and forth slightly on his hands and knees, working with Brian's thrusting. He was so alive with desire, catering to Brian's satisfaction like this, and eagerly awaiting when the canine would fall over the edge.

It was that wink, though, that undid Brian as he gritted his teeth to release a feral growl as his hard cock erupted in the child's mouth, a naughty finger grazing the toddler's hole before pushing in ever so slightly, teasing the infant as he embraced the waves of pleasure that washed over his furry body over and over.

Stewie's body jerked, and he almost lost control and let Brian's member slip completely from his mouth when that finger pushed in, but he just managed to hold the first inch in his mouth as the rest of the cavern flooded with cum. The boy's asshole clenched, as if imagining Brian's release erupting elsewhere even as Stewie gulped down the load.

Brian swore to himself he had never felt so good in his life, and to him, the whole experience was over far too quickly as he finished emptying himself down this crazy kid's throat before collapsing on his back onto the seat, breathing heavily, gasping for breath, "Holy fuck…"

Stewie was similarly dazed, though hardly as sated. He likewise flopped back against the seats, his tiny hard-on pointing up proudly. He licked his lips and wiped his mouth and chin with the back of his hand. "Yeah, I know. I'm amazing."

After taking a moment to pull himself back together, Brian finally sat up on his elbows only to have his eyes lock onto the sight of Stewie lying flat on his back, obvious erection standing, well, kinda tall, but what really caught the dog off guard was just how hard and stiff the little member was, straight as a board and...throbbing.

Stewie soon caught Brian looking, and he couldn't help but self-consciously color up a bit. He liked the dog looking at that part of him, though, liked how Brian's gaze was almost palpable. The baby reached down to touch himself, and let out a low hiss. "See something you like?"

The canine gulped and diverted his eyes, chuckling nervously, "Uhhhh, well...", unable to come up with what he deemed to be a good response.

The child scooted over closer. "It's okay, Brian," he said, laughing. "I understand if you don't want to admit that." He hesitated for the barest of moments before hauling his naked ass up onto Brian's lap. "Knowing you want me is enough..." he breathed, looking at Brian from beneath lust-heavy eyelids.

The dog cleared his throat before trying to respond, "It's just so... I... You're...hard... I mean, it shouldn't be a surprise. I knew...knew you...that you did, but actually seeing it...for me..."

Stewie felt a sweet warmth bloom in his chest. He felt several things. Desire, amusement, and love. He chuckled. Damn if Brian couldn't be absolutely adorable sometimes! He wondered if that clueless canine was flattered that Stewie was...ahhh, fuck! (he toyed with himself again)...so desperately hard for him. He was prepared to be moved by the possibility. The child nodded at Brian. "All for you," he confirmed, smiling seductively.

Brian finally turned to look at Stewie again, smiling slightly, "Can I...can I touch it?"

Stewie's mouth fell open slightly. Brian had gone from so dominating, to so tender, so preciously hesitant. And he was finally, finally going to touch Stewie. _My, how mannerly you are_ , the toddler thought. "God, I wish you would," he gasped.

Not needing to be told twice, the dog reached up and slowly extended his paw towards Stewie's erect cock, his heart rising in his throat as he brushed the tips of his fingers along the length once they finally made contact.

Stewie let out a shaky breath. "Bry..." he said simply, lovingly. But the extent of his horniness got the better of him, and he followed that up by ordering, "God, are you trying to kill me with that teasing touch, though? Because I will die. I will die of frustration."

Brian pulled away, slightly taken aback by the child's words, his eyes filling with genuine sympathy for his young lover, "What do you want me to do, sweetie?"

Stewie was calmed from his fit of pique. "'Sweetie'?" he giggled ecstatically. "'Sweetie'?"

The canine's cheeks went red as he realized what he just said, but despite being a little embarrassed, all he could do was laugh, "Uh, yeah, that's what I said."

Stewie laughed in delight, smiling wide. "So, you found a term of endearment, have you?" He grasped Brian by the arms, rubbing them affectionately. "You ole softy, you." He kissed the dog's lips. "I just want the best of what the famous lover, Brian Griffin, has to offer."

The dog chuckled and pecked the tot's lips again, "'Famous lover'? You flatter me."

Stewie rolled his eyes. "Well, there were an awful lot of bimbos, you have to admit..."

Brian sighed at this, "And you'll never let me live that down, will you?"

Stewie shrugged, giving his partner an impish look. "We'll see. But facts are facts, Brian, and there was a revolving door of those women." His voice dipped low and needy. "There must have been something you were offering them."

The dog shook his head and smirked before reaching out and suddenly taking a handful of needy little cock, gingerly stroking the tip as he leaned over to whisper in the child's ear, "Well, I'd hate to disappoint."

It sent an intense jolt of pleasure through the boy, who moaned and threaded his fingers through the fur on Brian's chest, holding tight. Stewie moaned. "Mmm, that's what I'm talking about," he encouraged.

The canine laughed wickedly before taking Stewie's little need between two fingers and starting to pump it up and down slowly, "Heh, you sound like a girl."

Stewie panted along with the motion of Brian's hand on his cock. "Am I supposed to be insulted?" He gave a little bite to his lover's neck. "I'll be the best bitch you've ever fucked, just wait and see."

Brian couldn't suppress the shiver that shot down his spine as he sped up his jerking, "Ohhhhhh, god. I bet you will. I wanna see you in something sexy…"

Stewie's breath likewise sped up. "Hmph," he tried to harrumph in offense, though there was no sting in his words. "I'm pretty sure you HAVE seen me in sexy little outfits before, Brian. ...But what would you especially like to see me wear?"

The dog started massaging Stewie's tip and lapping at his neck as he replied, "I never took the time to appreciate it. I will now, though. Just surprise me, sweetie."

"Yessss...!" hissed the boy. "Ohhh, Brian!" He smiled and closed his eyes, soaking in both the sexual gratification and the warm fuzzies from being called sweetie again. "Yes, I'll knock your freakin' socks off, baby!"

Brian captured the infant's lips in a warm kiss as he continued to jerk him off before pulling away to speak, "I can't wait..."

Stewie bowed his head, tucking his forehead under Brian's chin. He let out little moaning exclamations. "Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!"

Brian reached back to stroke the baby's spine, "You gonna cum for me, kid?"

His little lover let out a high-pitched whine. "Oh! Brian! Oh- !" His body started to shake as he started to lose control.

The dog laughed and whispered in the child's ear, "I think someone is almost there. Need me to stop? You're not going to be done after this, are you?"

The boy's head swished from side to side in the negative. He raised his head to look Brian in the eye. "If..if..." he panted, "you can...go another...round, so can...so can I." He moaned loudly while the dog went on jacking him.

The dog nodded his head in understanding, "Alright.", and kissed the boy passionately on the lips, urging him closer to his climax.

Stewie clutched fistfuls of white fur tighter, and thrust his hips toward the paw that was pleasuring him so. The canine's kiss made his blood race even more with lust, and he kissed back with heat and urgency until he came, shuddering. The baby broke the kiss and tilted his head back, crying out with his release.

Brian latched onto the infant's neck, lapping at the flesh and sucking as he continued to jerk Stewie until his body ceased convulsing.

Stewie slumped against Brian, his body flush up against the dog's as he relaxed fully on his lap, recapturing his breath and waiting for his super genius head to clear itself of the dreamy, post-orgasmic haze.

Brian started running his paw up and down the child's back, savoring the moment before finally speaking, "Did I disappoint?"

"Wha- ?" Stewie was startled out of his brain fog. He nuzzled his face against Brian's chest and murmured happily. "What a stupid question. Silly, silly mutt." He smiled, almost deliriously content.

However, he wasn't content for long; in the next few moments, he was leaning up to press his lips to his lover's. And it was not a gentle, sated kiss.

The dog kissed back but soon pulled away, "You still wanna dress up in something sexy for me?"

Stewie eyed him up, questioning, mischievous. "Of course."

The canine fondled the boy's ass playfully as he replied, "Think you won't lose it too bad on the way back home?"

Stewie blushed and slapped Brian's hand away playfully. "Oh, haha, I'll try to control myself," he replied, and stuck his tongue out at his partner. "Now where the devil did my trousers go?" he wondered aloud as he looked about for his discarded clothing.

As Stewie searched for his clothes, Brian retrieved his collar and climbed back up front into the driver's seat, waiting for the boy to at least make himself decent before starting the car back up.

Dressing as quickly as he could, the tyke then scrambled back up to the front, eager to get back home with his lover and resume their activities. Clothing possibilities ran through his mind, as he looked forward to finding out what Brian would like to see him in. As Brian started the car, Stewie looked over at the dog lovingly.

Brian looked back at the boy and smiled as he leaned over to buckle him in, finishing the process with a sweet kiss to the cheek before putting the car in drive and speeding off for home.

Stewie felt like he was flying as the car navigated the streets. He was happier than he had ever been in his life before. The backseat of the car had been such a perfect experience, he was keen to get to the next one, but still, that didn't mean he wasn't enjoying the moment. He reached over to turn on the radio.

Brian looked over at the boy curiously as he switched through stations, reaching over to grab and rub at the baby's leg affectionately before asking, "Looking for something?"

Stewie stilled for a moment, eyes flitting down to Brian's paw of their own accord. He chuckled, butterflies performing gentle acrobatics in his stomach. Such casual romantic contact between them still felt so very new, even after having writhed on top of Brian naked. Even after having the dog spill for him... Stewie's cock stirred, and he fidgeted and cleared his throat. "Indeed. Though I don't seem to be finding it. What would you like to listen to, Brian?"

Brian hummed thoughtfully before responding, "I don't really care. You know what I like."

"Yeah, I do," teased the boy, throwing his love a slick wink. He giggled, continuing to fiddle with the radio dial. "The jazz station it is."

Soon the tunes of nice, smooth jazz were filling the car, prompting Brian to display his approval by sliding his paw up the tyke's leg as he continued rubbing, smirk forming on his face as he felt the infant tense up under his touch, "Yeeeeeeaaaah, that's good stuff."

A high-pitched giggle burst from Stewie. "Brian!" he fake-scolded.

The canine chuckled mischievously and squeezed that little leg, "What? I REALLY like Jazz."

Stewie snorted, smirking at his partner. "Is that right? Is it giving you a tromBONER?" The child gave a small wince. "That was awful, wasn't it?" he reflected, then looked back down at Brian's paw on his leg, and giggled again, anyway.

Brian both cringed and laughed at the bad pun, "Jeez. Yeah, that was pretty bad. I would expect better from you, Stewie."

Stewie glared at the canine, but it lacked the strength of real annoyance. "Give me a break, my brain's in a war with another part of my anatomy for control of the blood supply." His hand covered Brian's paw where it rested on his leg. He kicked his feet a little bit and giggled some more. "I have the hysterics," he observed.

The car pulled into the driveway, and Brian went to turn off the engine before reaching over to unbuckle his favorite little genius, offering the boy a quick but heated kiss that had them both panting for breath after pulling away, "You're too damn cute..."

Stewie looked down modestly, but he put the full power of his tempting abilities into his next suggestive remark. "You do know how they used to treat hysterical women..."

Brian barked out a laugh, not expecting that remark in the slightest, though, it didn't take him too long to pull himself together and come back with his own sly remark, "Are you saying you want to be my little patient?"

"Doctor needs to give me my dose of lovin'," Stewie replied through a purr.

The dog froze for a second, taking a moment to eye up the amazing boy sitting in front of him before smiling warmly and exiting the car.

Stewie did not hesitate to follow suit. He met Brian coming around the side of the car and immediately grabbed his hand and clung to it as they made their way inside. As they walked, he mentally planned the scenario they would be embarking on.

Brian led his young lover into the house and made his way towards the stairs, stopping at the bottom step and smiling down at the boy before speaking, "I'll wait down here. You go get yourself into something you think will really knock my socks off."

Leaning up to peck the dog on the lips, Stewie promised, "Prepare to be amazed," before scampering merrily up the stairs.

Brian shivered in anticipation and couldn't help but ogle the child's rear end as he quickly made his way upstairs before vanishing out of sight, planning who knew what.

Stewie shut the door to his room and shed his clothing quickly, running over to his closet and going inside to unlock the secret compartment that housed his collection of female garb. He knew exactly what he was going after. It might not have the best memories attached to it, but the time had come to make some new ones. He grabbed the nurse's outfit off the hanger and hurried out of the closet.

Meanwhile downstairs, Brian could barely contain his excitement, pacing back and forth as his mind conjured up all sorts of dirty outfits Stewie might be trying on. Now that he'd given himself permission to think about Stewie in a sexual way, he could dwell on various outfits he'd seen the kid in in the past- there had been dozens he would have found positively provocative on a woman he was interested in. Well, he'd come to terms with how sexy Stewie could be, and now he acknowledged why seeing those clothes on the tyke had always made him slightly uncomfortable. Stewie was a little bombshell, and the dog was getting quite aroused as he awaited his lover's return. The time was ticking away much too slowly and Brian could barely take it, so he decided to pass the time taking care of one little detail he was still incredibly nervous about, turning to walk down into the basement in the hopes that Estelle could give him the advice he needed.

He took up his laptop, entered his login information, and was then greeted with a jaunty, "Good evening, Brian!" by Estelle, and then he was staring at Stewie in drag- maybe not in person yet, but on his computer screen. "What can I do for you?" the now familiar computerized voice wanted to know. "I feel obligated to notify you that you've been neglecting your writing. Though, I think that's excusable, given recent events."

The dog nodded his head, "Don't worry. I'll get back on that soon, but right now, I need a little...help. Me and Stewie did a little fooling around tonight, and well, we're not done... I'm pretty sure... I'm pretty sure tonight is going to end with...intercourse."

The computer chuckled. "But you've done some fooling around already, huh?" she teased in her smoky voice. "You dog! Well, did you want to pick up where you left off with broadening your sexual education? Shall we go back to the last website you visited?"

The dog found himself blushing as he replied, "Uh, I guess we can start back there...but I really have more specific questions that pertain to Stewie..."

Estelle brought up the webpage, but asked, sounding intensely curious for an emotionless and all-knowing machine, "What about Stewie?"

Brian scanned the webpage curiously before responding, "Well...I mean... Ok. I understand that Stewie has a mind capable of handling...intimacy, but his body is still, you know, young. How does this... How does this...work exactly...me inside him...?"

"Has Stewie told you that he has been penetrated before?" Estelle to know, all traces of coyness gone from her tone, now and clinical, no hesitation to talk about the boy in such terms.

The canine cleared his throat, "He, uh... Yeah, he has, but it doesn't exactly help. I don't know. I guess it's just hard to wrap my brain around... Like...how careful will I need to be with him? Are there, you know...limits? Things he's not ready for? I don't want to mess this up...".

"Your conscientiousness does you credit, Brian," said Estelle. "Although, I do not think you have to be this nervous. After all, don't you think that if Stewie is uncomfortable or not enjoying himself, he'll tell you?"

Brian could do nothing but scoff at the question, "Oh, I have no doubt he'd tell me. I don't want him to have to. If he tells me that then I've already ruined everything... I just want to know how best to go about things...for both our sakes."

"Be gentle," Estelle advised. "Or at least to start with. And there is a certain part of your male dog anatomy that I'd strongly advise you against attempting to insert into your partner. Use plenty of lube on the insertable part of your member. Use plenty in him. Go slowly. Treat the prep work as sensual foreplay. Be alert to your partner's body- watch it for reactions. Watch his face for reactions."

Though the advice was obvious, Brian listened carefully, nodding his head slowly as he took it all in.

"Will there be anything else, Brian?" asked his laptop. "You don't want to keep your lover waiting."

The dog chuckled a bit at this, "No, I don't, but he's upstairs preparing a surprise. He's going to let me know when he's ready for me to come up, so really, HE'S the one keeping ME waiting, right now."

"That sounds like him," Estelle answered, something close to fondness in her voice. "I'm sure he's planning a surprise that will knock your socks off," she said, using Stewie's choice of words from earlier.

Brian couldn't help but to point this out as he laughed, "Stewie said the exact same thing.". The dog just smirked as he chuckled out a reply, "No. I wasn't surprised at all. That's why it's so damn funny!"

"You're in for quite a night, I think," said the machine, sounding like it was smirking back. "Do you believe you're ready for it now?"

Brian leaned back in his seat and stretched, "Oh, it's already been a great night, Estelle. I told you me and Stewie already had a little fun. I'm just eager for more. I'll figure it out as I go."

"You certainly seem more confident now," observed his virtual companion.

Just then, a holler was heard from upstairs. "Briiiaaan! Yoo-hoo!" Stewie called, obviously putting on a come-hither voice and sounding pretty girlish. "I'm ready and waiting for your love, big boy!"

A huge grin spread across the canine's muzzle as he stood up, "Well, that's my cue. Thanks, Estelle. I appreciate everything."

"It's nothing more than what I was created for," she replied. "And it seems I have done my job well, on one front, at least. I can tell you are very pleased with your new relationship. Good luck with tonight, lover boy."

And with a wave and a skip, Brian was off, practically jogging up the stairs, barely registering the fact that he was traveling before appearing at the door to the child's room. It was open, and suddenly time slowed down as he entered the room to find the bars of the crib down and Stewie posed provocatively on the mattress, wearing a little nurse's uniform. Vaguely, Brian thought he recalled having seen the boy in that outfit before.

"I'm glad you're here!" the tempting exclaimed in a breathy voice. "I need some help with an injection."

The canine's jaw dropped and he struggled to speak words...ultimately failing as he just stood there gawking at the sight.

The child giggled. He lay on his side, legs stacked, and he walked his fingers up and down the brief length of his thigh. "What's the matter? What are you waiting for? I need my love doctor to listen to my heartbeat." He lay back on the bed, draping an arm overhead dramatically.

Brian began walking slowly towards the boy, still trying to recover from the brief short circuit that had occurred in his brain after seeing Stewie at his absolute most provocative.

"Brian?" coaxed Stewie, needy now, stretching out both arms towards the dog, small hands opening and closing. "Yes, that's right...come to me..."

Brian gulped, a mixture of excitement and nervousness coursing through him as he finally made his way over to have a seat on the mattress.

Stewie sat up and reached toward him, tickling the fur on his companion's arm. "I love you, Bry," he said, sounding kind of nervous himself and definitely feeling it, the idea that they were going to sleep together properly making his stomach do funny things. He wrapped his arms around one of the canine's. "I want you. Are you- are you nervous?"

The dog simply nodded his head before turning to look at his young lover, a small smile on his face, "I love you, too, Stewie."

Stewie smiled back, those words seeming to send his heart aglow. He leaned in and pressed a warm kiss to his partner's lips.

Brian received the kid's kiss eagerly, turning to return the kiss before pulling away with a snicker, "Well, you were right."

Stewie cocked his head to one side. A smirk played upon his lips. "I'm not surprised to hear that I was right about something, but what was it this time?"

The dog pecked the infant on the lips before pushing the boy to lie on his back again, "You knocked my socks off."

Stewie flushed and beamed in extreme pleasure as he lay on his back looking up at his love. His heart did a somersault. Brian looked just like he did in every romantic fantasy he'd ever had about the the dog. The position, the passion in his face. "Paging Dr. Obvious," he joked, trying to play it cool, but then he simply closed his eyes for a moment, soaking in what he was feeling, and he smiled sweetly. "Thank you, Brian."

Brian smiled back and leaned down for another passionate kiss, this time moaning quite loudly as he lost himself in the act. Brian laughed into the kiss, allowing the boy to have his way for a few moments before finally coming up for air, panting for breath as he spoke, "So... What was this...about an injection...Sexy Nurse Stewie?"

Biting his lower lip and eyeing the dog hungrily, skirt hiking up toward his waist from trying to put his legs around Brian, Stewie responded with, "Oh, yes, I need it badly, doc. Do you need my assistance in preparing it?"

The dog began moving very subtly against the child, "Well, that is what I hired you for."

Stewie squeaked in the back of his throat. He was at a loss for words for a moment. "And here I thought you hired me for my head," he finally gasped out, moving against Brian, too. He pushed gently on Brian's chest, guiding him back, to put a little space between them, so that Stewie could squirm down, lowering himself so that he was eye-level with the bottom of the canine's stomach. "Not for your little head," he continued, making a grab for his lover's groin.

The dog had to suppress his animalistic howl of pleasure at feeling the child's hand, gritting his teeth as a high-pitched whine echoed off the walls of the baby's room instead.

As he began to slowly but steadily work his love's member, Stewie's breath caught in his throat at the sheer need in the dog's voice. He peppered soft kisses over Brian's stomach and looked up at his partner. "How's that, doctor? I know things will have to get harder before there's relief. For both of us."

Brian growled through his teeth as he thrust against the child's hand, "I knew I hired you for a reason. So. Talented."

The boy reached down and fiddled with himself beneath the skirt of his little nurse's dress, his hand on Brian's shaft speeding up, before scooting forward until he could rub his own pelvis against the mutt's leg. He then gave the animal the double-handed treatment, all the while wondering how he was going to segue into kicking things up a notch.

The dog was in heaven, completely giving himself over to pleasure as his leg twitched and he hung his head, eyes closed and tongue hanging out as he panted happily.

Stewie watched his expression of bliss with pride and ever-increasing arousal, but still, he quit pleasuring his lover for several moments...while he shifted around, the boy coming to lie backward on top of his lover. Taking a breath, he hitched up his skirt, under which he was going commando. His exposed ass was in front of Brian's face as Stewie resumed giving the hound a handjob.

Brian's eyes went wide, mildly shocked to suddenly have a face full of baby butt, though the sensations below his waist were still driving him wild as he pumped his hips up and down steadily, still panting heavily, "Y- You...want me to...to...use my mouth on you?"

The child noticeably shivered. He opened his mouth to speak, only to find the words getting stuck behind a lump in a dry throat, and only an embarrassing little squeak emerging. He coughed, frustrated. "If...if you...don't mind," the boy replied, blushing hotly. He weighed Brian's balls in his hands and leaned down to draw his tongue the length of his partner's hard-on. "Brian..." he murmured lustfully, naughty mouth pressed against the side of the cock in a tender kiss.

"Ohhhhh, Stewie..." the dog moaned as he rolled the kid's asscheeks in his paws experimentally before sticking his tongue out and licking up the crack timidly. Stewie moaned in encouragement, eyes rolling in his head slightly.

"Oh, myyyy! Yes, Brian, that's good!" And he immediately started sucking the canine's dick as repayment.

Brian moaned again, partially due to the feeling of having that amazing little sexy cocksucker work his magic, but probably even more so because of how hot he found Stewie's reaction, a reaction that made his chest swell with pride as he grew bolder and buried his muzzle in that cute little ass, finding himself to be quite the ready and willing eager to please partner despite having never attempted anything like this before in his life.

Stewie sped up his oral ministrations to his lover's cock, determinedly jamming it into his mouth over and over again, wanting to give Brian his best, but soon had to pull off of the organ, panting for breath. "Brian! Yes! Wow!" he gasped out, using his hand to continue to stimulate the dog. "You're...amazing...at...that." He wriggled his butt in what he hoped was a sexy way, rubbing Brian's face in it.

The dog chuckled and pulled away briefly, fondling the infant's rear as he spoke, "It's all in the tongue. Us dogs are blessed in that regard, and we know how to use it."

"Clearly!" Stewie agreed enthusiastically, giggling. He let out a string of tiny moans, closing his eyes and just enjoying the incredible sensations Brian was causing him to feel. "Ohhhh, I'm going to need you to fuck me soon..."

Brian froze for just a second as he gulped nervously, "Already? This soon?"

Stewie froze, too, sensing Brian's discomfort. He climbed down from his perch and turned to face his love, smoothing down his dress almost demurely as he sat back on his heels, and straightened his nurse's cap. "Well, I sure as hell am turned on enough, Brian...You're not ready, though?"

The dog shook his head vigorously, "No! I'm...I'm ready. I just want to make sure you are..."

Stewie smiled softly. He took up the dog's paw and simply held it. "It's not surprising that I'm ready and rarin' to go so fast, is it? I've been waiting for so long! I can still barely believe my dream is about to come true!" He beamed at the dog, squeezing his paw. He then released it, and his demeanor turned sultry once more. "There's some lube in the safe under my floor..." And he stood up and hopped off the bed.

Brian watched with lustful eyes as the tyke went and retrieved the item, releasing a primal growl as he reached down to jack off a bit when Stewie bent over to reach into the safe, "Goddamn. You really do look good in that. How do you do it, kid?"

The pint-sized genius stayed in his bent over position as he let Brian's compliment wash over him and stroke his ego. He gave a little laugh and reached back to spank himself. "Just born with it!" he boasted, and picked up the lube from the safe before closing the hiding place securely. He turned back around and hummed in utter arousal at the sight of Brian reclined on the bed with his paw on his cock.

Their eyes locked as the two lovers paused for a second to take in the erotic sights of each other, and the sexual tension in the air grew all the thicker once Brian licked his lips hungrily and reached over to pat a space beside him on the mattress, "Get. Over. Here.".

Stewie's stomach leapt in nervousness and excitement, Brian's lustful, authoritative order giving him chills before, giggling like a maniac, his little feet sent him running back to the crib as quick as they could. He jumped up onto the mattress and looked to the canine expectantly.

Without hesitation, the canine wrapped his arms around the child and yanked him into his lap, resting his hard, throbbing member between the boy's buttcheeks as he captured those sweet lips in a forceful, heated kiss.

"Mmph!" uttered the boy, taken by surprise by being suddenly grabbed, and finding hips smooshed up against his love's, and a tongue in his mouth. There was a muffled moaning of the dog's name, Stewie feeling hot all over, all his awareness going to his backside, and the promise pulsing against it.

The dog swatted the boy's backside before pulling away and leaning in to whisper into Stewie's ear with husky breath, "How badly do you want me in there, sweetie...?"

Stewie, overwhelmed with lust, growled, sounding pretty animalistic himself. He gripped the dog's arm and rocked backward, landing on his back with Brian hovering over him. "Bad. And I know bad." He smirked evilly, but looking up at the object of his intense affections, a feeling of such romance and sentiment swept over him that he just had to say, "God, I want you inside of me, to feel like you're a part of me..." And then he squirmed and averted his gaze, embarrassed by his own sappiness.

Brian just had to smile at this, his heart feeling touched by the boy's words, "We're a part of each other. We're the perfect duo, Stewie."

A heartfelt smile formed on the baby's face as his eyes met Brian's. "This is how it was meant to be," he said, speaking his heart without restraint now. "Nothing could compare to us, Brian." And with his foot, he nudged the errant bottle of lube up from where it had rolled sometime during the process of Stewie being grabbed and tossing about and brought it up to where he could grab it.

Brian's eyes went to the bottle, and he tensed up a bit, "Stewie...you're going to have to walk me through this..."

"Happily," said the boy, petting the dog behind the ear reassuringly. "But...you mean, you've never done anything like this before? With any of the women you've hooked up with?"

The dog didn't know how to respond, simply shaking his head.

Stewie closed his eyes for a moment, soaking in the knowledge, weirdly pleased. He lunged up and kissed Brian soundly on the mouth, then opened his eyes, still leaning up, little hands cupping either side of the canine's muzzle. "Strip me down, handsome."

The canine smiled, "If that's what you want me to do...though..." he paused, seeming to be thinking hard about something.

Stewie quirked an eyebrow, intrigued. "Though...what, Bry?"

The dog cleared his throat and diverted his gaze nervously, "Do you think that...you know...maybe...we could do it while you...stayed in character?"

The child chuckled. "Well, I suppose...I suppose we could try it that way..." he said thoughtfully, smirking. "I've never tried proper role play before, you know. So, let's see..." He held onto the bottle of lube and tried to come up with something that was at once sexy and medical to say. He smiled awkwardly. The best he could come up with was, handing the lube over to his lover, "Er...ready to check my prostate, doc?"

Brian barked out a laugh, having to fight to keep himself from going into hysterics before replying professionally with a wink, "It would seem you're the one who's ready considering you're already bottomless, my sexy little nurse."

Stewie chuckled along. "Indeed. But I just want to make sure I'm in good...um, paws, here. I'm a lot to handle." He reached down and grabbed onto his own buttocks to draw attention to them.

The dog gawked at the sight, mouth agape before turning up into an aroused smile, "Oh ho ho. I bet you are..."

The boy stared expectantly at the sexy smirk on his partner's face. He breathed in and out audibly. "God, touch me, Brian. You know where."

Brian began to obey, reaching out his paw slowly, but just before his paw made contact, he stopped, "I know what you want...but I want you to say it."

Stewie stilled, eyes open just slightly wider as he unconsciously fidgeted, thrown for a split second. He loved Brian's playfulness, his confidence, his taking control...but it seemed to appear at some unpredictable moments. However, the child supposed that added to the overall effect. He rolled his eyes and said baldly, "Stick your finger up my ass, Bry. Please, oh, please."

The canine just stared the child down for a few seconds before smirking and applying the lube to his finger, "Bend over, then..."

Stewie hopped to his feet and moved the pillow at the head of the bed out of the way, before bending at the waist, spreading his legs, and bracing his hands against the headboard. He shook his ass temptingly, but all the same, he wasn't all vixen; he was a little nervous for some reason, gulping as he glanced over his shoulder.

As soon as Stewie's head was turned, Brian leaned in and planted his lips on the boy's, instigating a firm but sweet kiss as his finger began tracing up and down the crack of that sexy little ass.

Stewie moaned through a deep exhale against Brian's lips, shivers climbing the young boy's spine.

The dog continued his tracing for a few moments longer, pulling away and pecking the infant's lips again before speaking, "That good, sweetie?"

Eyes still shut in appreciation, Stewie nodded. "Oh, yes. Could be better, though..."

The canine chuckled and leaned in further to whisper in the child's ear as he touched his hole and began rubbing circles, "Like that?"

"Better and better," murmured the boy. "Doctor didn't get his degree out of a vending machine."

This earned a hearty laugh from Brian, though, as the laugh slowly died down he moved to meet the boy's gaze, expression solemn, "You ready, kid?"

His partner nodded. "Beyond ready, Brian," he spoke slowly and sincerely, maintaining eye contact, his smile coming hesitantly, but his heart was sure. For that matter, so was another part of him. He bowed his head forward, waiting for Brian's finger to enter, and looked down at his own little stiffy, waiting so eagerly for things to escalate.

Brian hesitated only briefly before pushing his digit forward and entering the baby slowly, slightly taken off-guard by the strange sensation of having such a small opening stretching around and clutching his finger. The boy let out a soft grunt. "God, Bry!" he panted. "You're actually, like, right in there. Can you believe it?"

The dog gulped, feeling slightly awkward, now, "Y-Yeah... It's really something..."

The remark gave Stewie a little pause. He ignored how slightly weird it felt to have Brian's digit just resting inside of his anus and asked, "Doin' okay back there, Doc?"

Brian nodded his head despite Stewie still facing away from him, "Yeah, I'm fine. It's just different..."

Stewie mulled this as best he could at the current time. "Well..." he attempted a joke, hoping Brian wasn't squicking himself out at the moment, "any patient will tell you they hope to be a typical case, but if you ask me, this all is still going to be a success."

Brian smiled at this as he gave his finger an experimental twist, probing, exploring as his curiosity began to take over, "A doctor always appreciates a patient with a positive attitude. Just walk me through it. How do you feel?"

Stewie relaxed somewhat- probably to his benefit- and allowed himself to soak in the sensation, head hanging forward as he let out a mingled sigh and hiss. "It's good, Brian...so good.". The words washed over the canine's ears, and Brian couldn't deny how hot it was to hear how aroused his partner was, even if he couldn't quite comprehend how what he was doing could be that pleasurable for the infant.

Stewie emitted a series of impassioned little noises, egging Brian on as the dog's digit moved within him.

The dog's tail began wagging steadily, finding great enjoyment out of Stewie's responses, which prompted him to push in even further, as far as he could go, past a ring of muscle as he continued to twirl his finger around within the boy.

Upon being further breached, Stewie squeaked, then hummed out a happy moan as he savored the preparations his lover was working upon him.

Brian proceeded to move his finger in and out, slowly, at first, but with ever-increasing speed soon after.

His young lover began to let out sharp little shouts of pleasure with each thrust of Brian's digit. This prompted the dog to chuckle and smile, "This really feels good to you, huh?"

Stewie nodded very rapidly, enthusiastically.

As the dog continued to finger fuck the boy's tight hole, he could feel the little pucker slowly beginning to loosen up as it eagerly took his finger over and over again. One certain, incidental movement of his wrist sent his finger brushing against something that made Stewie gasp and let out a particularly noisy sound of pleasure. The canine stopped, eyes growing wide, "T-That good? You ok?"

Frustration burst through Stewie as the child looked over his shoulder and shot at his partner, "It was better than good, so what are you stopping for, you dolt? Haven't you ever heard of the prostate? If I want you to stop anything, I'll make no bones about it!"

The dog's heart raced, surprised but also excited by the authoritative tone of the child's voice, "O-Oh, uh, s-sorry..."

The boy giggled. "Just put your finger back, Brian," he pleaded, turning back around, letting his head relax forward again, wearing a smile of love, amusement, and arousal.

Brian moved to obey but paused when he felt his cock throb almost painfully, "Ahhhh! Just the finger? I mean, if that's what you need, ok, that's fine, but you're not ready for something...more?"

The breath caught in Stewie's throat, "M-More..?"

Brian nodded his head frantically despite the fact that Stewie still wasn't looking at him, "Yes, more. I want to… I need to fuck you…"

Good god was it almost too much to hear those words pouring out of his pet's mouth so matter-of-factly. The child began to shake as pure arousal consumed his entire being. He was so ready for this, "Well, I guess doctor should just take whatever he needs, then. That is what I'm here for isn't it?" He turned his head to meet Brian's gaze with a seductive smirk, "To help Mr. Doctor in any way I can?"

Brian growled and stood up. He grabbed the tyke by the hips and leaned over to whisper harshly into his ear, "That's exactly what you're here for." He reached a hand down to position his erect cock at Stewie's ready entrance.

The boy gasped at the contact. So. Close.

Brian snickered, "Your injection is all ready, nurse."

Stewie moaned lowly as his head dipped forward once more, "Give it to me, Brian."

Brian pushed forward. Any sort of reservations he may have still had, any kind of awkwardness that might have been present in the recesses of his mind, simply vanished as base primal desire took control of him. He was only slightly surprised at just how easily he was able to enter Stewie, at how he was able to successfully slide all the way up to his knot in one continuous smooth thrust.

Stewie's hands on the headboard desperately wanted to ball into fists, to grab onto something tightly, but he was simply too short to reach the top of the headboard and there was no way that he was going to risk interrupting this for anything. Brian was inside of him, and very few things in his life had ever felt this right. He sighed happily and began to move his hips, pushing back against a lump of flesh that was both new and exciting to him.

The dog held Stewie in place, fearing that the eager infant might be pushing his limits, "Whoa there, nurse. I think you're already getting the proper dosage."

The child pouted, but acknowledged that Brian just might have a point, in this case. He stopped pushing back, but his hips continued to roll as he attempted to work the organ that was so deep inside of him. He knew he was good. There was no question about that, but he wanted Brian to have him at his best.

Brian couldn't suppress the moan that bubbled up from his throat. He began to move finally, still keeping a firm hold on his young lover as he thrust in and out at a slow, steady pace, "Jesus. You feel so good."

The infant chuckled sinisterly, "I want to be the best damn piece of ass you've ever had."

The canine gave the child's backside a hard swat that was sure to leave a nice red pawprint in its wake. Hopefully it would fade quickly. He would hate to have to explain that one to Lois… He couldn't spare too much concern for that now, though. He grunted and began picking up speed.

Stewie squealed in erotic delight as he spread his legs further apart for better support. Their lovemaking was starting to shake the crib violently, the headboard banging against the wall loudly and making a distinct banging sound not unlike the sound a hammer makes as it pounds in a nail. It honestly felt like his bed could fall apart at any moment, which he honestly found incredibly hot. Oh, what better proof in the world could there be of such a ferocious act of passion than to have their mating ground crumble beneath them?

Brian's ears were picking up on all the little adorable and sexy sounds that Stewie was making as he fucked him intensely. It was about all he could handle. He was really going at it now, and he could feel that he was going to have to really work to make sure he didn't explode within the next minute. It was all just so intense, though. The sex was incredible enough on its own, but combine that with the swirl of emotions and feelings that were embodied in his thoughts about his partner and this whole experience became simply transcendent. He loved this kid so much. He would do anything for him, and he never wanted to let him down again.

The boy's legs were shaking, and he had to struggle to keep his balance. He shifted his body a bit to regain his footing, but as he moved, he felt his love strike something within him. In the next moment, he was crying out in ecstasy as he collapsed onto the mattress, burying his face into it to muffle his obscene cries of, "Fuck! Yes! Fuck me, you sexy bitch!"

Brian somehow managed to react in time to move with Stewie in a way where he didn't immediately slip out. He was completely on top of the baby now, body pressed flush against the younger as he continued humping him determinedly.

Stewie's fingernails were scrapping roughly against his mattress as he writhed on the bed. This is exactly where he had wanted to be for so long, pinned underneath his dog, completely helpless to do anything as his body was used for the sole purpose of getting the mutt off. Not that he would do anything even if he could. He spared a laugh for the thought.

Brian didn't even notice. He was focused on one singular goal, now. He could feel himself reaching his limit, and there was no holding back anymore. He was going to fill this naughty little brat up.

The baby began humping against the mattress. It wasn't the most comfortable thing in the world, but it was oh so worth it just to feel that friction. God, he was so close… Closer than he thought, actually. It only took a few more seconds before he was climaxing violently, body convulsing as he moaned out effeminately, "Ohhhhhhhh gooooooooood looooooooord."

That moan was the finger that pulled the trigger for Brian. The dog uttered a desperate sounding gasp as he proceeded to cum hard inside of his lover, paws gripping tiny hips tightly, nails extending just slightly enough to dig into soft flesh but not penetrate. They would certainly cause more marks that would be hard to explain, but it was so very hard to care when he was in the process of experiencing the greatest bliss he had ever known.

Stewie, meanwhile, was experiencing the exact same thing. This had been it. The point of no return. Brian had claimed him and he couldn't be more ecstatic about that. This… This was true victory.

The dog continued to move sporadically in and out of the infant for a while as he rode out his orgasm, but eventually, he was forced to succumb to his own exhaustion and collapse on top of the boy, making all kinds of feral sounds as he hit the crescendo before slowly feeling his climax tapering off.

Stewie was the first to come back to his senses. He felt so full...and loved and protected with Brian on top of him. It was a bit of a struggle, but he was able to manage to rotate his body slightly so that he could reach back and pet at Brian's ear, "Good dog."

The canine's tail began to wag immediately as an instinctual sense of pride began to wash over him. He remained lying there for a few minutes before summoning up the strength he required to sit up and roll off of and out of the boy.

Stewie shuddered as he felt the sensation of Brian exiting, breaking that dam and allowing for his seed to spill forth from deep within him. The mental image was enough to make him squirm. God, why didn't he bring a camera?

The dog fell back onto his back, panting heavily as he tried to catch his breath.

Stewie looked over at his love, the most sincere smile on his face as he continued to pet at that ear, "You gonna be alright there, doc?" He giggled.

Brian turned to look back at the infant. He wore a similar expression as he nodded his head, "Yeah. I think I'm going to be alright from now on." He reached an arm out to wrap around the baby which was gladly accepted.

Stewie fell into his love's embrace, moving close enough so that they could cuddle as they basked in the afterglow. He closed his eyes. It was such a tempting thought to just fall asleep right here, fully relaxed and content, and for several moments that he quickly lost track of, it seemed like he might give in to that temptation.

The dog noticed this, though, and for a while he allowed himself to take in the amazingly tranquil scene, but he knew he couldn't let Stewie drift off just yet. They wouldn't be alone all night, after all, so with some regret, he gave the infant a gentle shake, "Hey, wake up, Stewie. We can cuddle for a while, but you can't go to sleep yet, kid."

The boy's face scrunched up a bit in response to the unpleasant disruption to his peace, but still, with a sigh, he acquiesced, opening his eyes back up slowly before yawning and sitting up on one of his elbows. "So, how has the writing been going?" It was an easy conversation starter. If he was going to lie here for a prolonged period of time without falling asleep he was going to need _some_ kind of stimulation.

Brian's serene expression washed over with excitement, "You know, I've actually got some decent stuff done, I think. Estelle really has helped."

The boy shot his partner a smirk that was so obviously meant to communicate _I told you so_.

Brian snorted, but continued on as he reached for a pillow to place under his head, "I mean, it's not a lot or anything, but I think I'm on the right track."

Stewie nodded as he listened.

"You wanna see?" The offer was made with no hesitation. While it was still a little daunting to think about Stewie actually reading over his writing (because let's face it Stewie was never one to sugar coat his opinions), he still felt this desire to share that part of his life with the kid, especially after all he had done, especially since Stewie was the one who always seemed to try and believe in him. That meant something. That meant something crucial that he was only just now beginning to see fully.

Stewie's eyes lit up at the offer, "Of course!" Suddenly, he didn't feel quite as tired as he sat up quickly. "Want me to go grab your laptop?"

Brian nodded, chuckling at the baby's enthusiasm, "Sure."

The baby was off in a flash.

Brian was hardly able to admire the sight of the boy's ass leaking cum before it vanished through the door. He didn't have much time to be alone, though. Stewie was back much quicker than he thought was possible, carrying the laptop that honestly looked much too big for him to handle… But, then again, that was par for the course now, wasn't it.

Stewie handed the laptop up to Brian before hopping back into bed and arranging a few pillows so that they could lean back on the headboard of his crib comfortably. He then retook his place against the dog's side just as he was pulling up a document.

Estelle popped up on the screen. She was wearing a huge grin, "Uh oh. Looks like you two had some fun."

Stewie nodded his head emphatically.

Brian laughed nervously as he scratched behind his neck, "Yeah." Another sharp laugh. "We did." Back to the document.

"Well, I'm glad. It's been my pleasure to help…" She looked over at just Stewie, then, "...both of you."

Brian was too focused on scrolling down to the latest section of his story to notice, but he could have sworn he saw his A.I. helper throwing a wink at its creator.


End file.
